RL
Abby Phoenix
/
Collections
/
Tips
Tips
1
Show map
All Collections
Tips
Beauty
LA
Eats
Travel
TV
Fun
Comedies About a Lady Trying to Figure Life Out in London
How to Endure Your Workout/the Gym
Parenting
Movies
Semi-permanent beauty
Music
Style
Books
16d
Tips
Tell yourself you love yourself… OUT LOUD.
•••
Some well-worn (and good, I think!) advice I’ve given for years to friends who are too hard on themselves is: “what would you say if your best friend was going through this?” So many of us are empathetic, loving, understanding, supportive friends to others and Big Nasty Bitches to ourselves. ☹️ This is offered in that same vein: for some unknown reason, my children and I have a rule that when we see a pink car, whoever sees it first has to tell everyone else “I love you!” Yes, it’s cheesy. But it is also a big mood lifter for all. Lately, when I’ve been driving around solo and spot a pink car, I’ve been saying out loud to myself, “I love you, Abby!” Again, it’s cheesy AF, and also always makes me feel better. No matter what happens in life, I have someone with me 24/7 who loves me. It’s a powerful reminder. Give it a try! And I think it’s important to say it out loud, but maybe it works to just think it hard to yourself too? Also, someone with a pale pink Jeep has moved into my neighborhood and they have no idea why I’m so indebted to them, but: thanks, neighbor!
more
3
17d
Tips
Incorporate a walking pad into daily life
•••
One of my particular mental blocks is that I won’t start anything I think will be hard. Sometimes though, I can convince myself that a hard thing will actually be easy. That lie is enough to get me started, and once there, I usually have no trouble keeping up with an activity, even when challenges arise. I just have a lot of trouble getting over that first hump. Hence: why I’ve taken to having a walking pad at home SO MUCH more than having a treadmill, or even just getting my butt outside for a neighborhood walk. The walking pad seems easy: it literally doesn't reach speeds higher than 3.5, and I have a mini shelf desk set up above it with a glass of water and a book. “I drink water and read at night anyway, why not do it while casually strolling?” I say to myself most nights. I’ve had it for seven months and I truly use it so much more than I ever thought I would. It’s been fantastic for my overall fitness, and I attribute so much of that to the initial barrier being so low in my (silly) mind. If any of this resonates with you, I’ve linked to an article that shows a bunch of them — I think any one is fine!
more
4
1
17d
Tips
Kai
looking for stuff you already own on Rec League to get hyped about it
•••
An updated version of the life tip to shop your own closet first!
more
11
29d
Tips
Share a favorite everyday item with the other person
•••
Okay, I’m just spitballing here but thinking about what would make me feel welcome and excited to merge households with a new partner: Could you each either pick your own favorite home thing, like a coffee mug or candle or pillow, OR have your partner go through your things to pick her favorite, and then for the first month, it’s exclusively for her use. So like she picks her favorite of your coffee mugs, then it’s hers to exclusively use for the first month. You wash it when it’s dirty so it’s ready when she wants a cup of coffee or tea again, etc. She does the same for you. Like a little warm welcome into how caring and sweet shared life can be? Image of one of my favorite mugs that I’d only temporarily lend to someone I really adore.
more
1
3
4w
Tips
Fantasy Football
•••
I have been guilty of giving sports teams too much control over my happiness. It’s categorically dumb, given how I have literally zero influence or say in their performance, but there you have it. That said, as the larger world has gotten more chaotic and unstable in recent years, sports-related anguish almost feels cute and nostalgic. The stakes of how my team performs in any given season are so relatively low, it’s almost a luxury to care about it. This fall, I’m playing fantasy football for the first time in a decade and it’s even MORE removed from reality — I don’t even care how a team does, just if a certain player catches the ball. My loyalties change from game to game, week to week. It’s ridiculous, it’s arbitrary, it’s exactly the distraction level I need to cope with the ever-present horrors. 😝 Also, you get to come up with a silly name for your team and lightly trash-talk others in a (presumably) safe environment!
more
3
3
4w
Tips
The Soft Stoic Letter
•••
I recently got this rec from Rec League (meta!), so can’t speak to it as well as others here have, but after signing up, I received this perfect newsletter yesterday. Reading it helped me start healing something that I wasn’t even fully aware had been happening below the surface, and I just woke up today feeling better: more content with where I am and ready to handle whatever comes next.
more
40
2
8w
Tips
LA Metro
•••
Okay, so this is not a recommendation for those who hate that public services are… for the public. And I am mostly talking about my experiences of the last few months, since in the years before that, I had only taken the bus & rail in LA intermittently. But in summer 2026, I’ve been trying to take public transit more for my regular trips around town, and it has been wonderful! It’s cheap ($1.75 for two hours), easy, feels safe, and allows me to play my little daily word games on the way to running errands instead of getting mad at other drivers or sweating while looking for a parking spot. And the buses and trains are all air-conditioned! LA has been beefing up their infrastructure in advance of the 2028 Olympics and whoooooo knows if they’ll make it in time, but for now, that means transit runs reliably and to a large (and fast-increasing) number of destinations. And my final little secret — they’ve committed to making it easier to pay (you can tap your credit card or phone with Apple Pay), but not all the buses are fully equipped yet. Half the time I’ve boarded a bus and tried to use Apple Pay and it doesn’t work, the driver just rolls their eyes at the machine and tells me to get on for free. 😬 Nothing cheaper than that!
more
8
1
9w
Tips
Go look at the stars
•••
It’s an easy way to recenter and gain perspective as to whatever reason you think we’re on this earth (for me: to love people and love living). The stars exist in our perception for such a long time, it helps me understand that my concerns and worries are truly slight. Also, it’s just so pretty. If you live somewhere light-filled like I do, just try to find or make the darkest spot you can and ideally stay out there for about 15 minutes. That’s how long it takes your eyes to adjust and you really will see more after that. Also, sorta (but not really) a cheat: almost all smartphones have a camera that can take wildly good photos of the stars in the sky. Just make sure your phone is propped on something steady, point it skyward, and give it a go! Sometimes just knowing those stars are/were up there steadily burning calms me even if I can’t see them all with my naked eye.
more
8
11w
Tips
Using Rec League to explore your city
•••
I love all the travel tips here, but I also live in LA, a city that 1) seems well-represented among RLers and 2) really rewards people who are willing to dig a little deeper for cool stuff to do. So I squirrel away all LA recs I find here, and today, it paid off! I took my teen and tween to The Witch’s Cottage for lunch and then Catnip Coalition Vintage Mall for shopping. Both are recs I got here and both were TOTAL HITS, and my kids think I’m cool af. Thanks, Rec League — excited to keep making these local discoveries with your help!
more
8
1
11w
Tips
Flossing
•••
Mine is the classic flossing, but I’m always amused by how I came to it: I made it my New Year’s resolution one year. People were making such lofty promises to themselves and mine was just: I’m going to floss every night this year. Real talk, I fell off the wagon in June that year, but that just meant I had a built-in resolution for the next year. And the next year I made it all year and then it was a long-ingrained habit, and I haven’t stopped since. Benefits: 1) the stuff still between my teeth (even after brushing with an electric brush) still astounds me. 2) feeling smug after dentist’s appointments when they say, “wow, I can tell you floss regularly. Your gums are great!” 3) feeling smug about having one single NY resolution in my life that I have for sure fulfilled.
more
11
16w
Tips
Hyperfocusing on a specific dish while traveling
•••
I usually end up doing this anyway on a trip but it’s also so fun to deliberately identify a local dish from wherever you travel to that you’ll eat whenever you see it. I’m visiting Sweden right now and trying herring every time and place it’s available: mostly pickled but also fried, in mustard sauce, with anchovy seasoning. I’m pairing it usually with the mild Swedish präst cheese (I assume it’s very Swedish because I asked one waitress what it’s called and she said, “ummm, just our normal cheese?”), and it’s giving me a strong sense memory that I know I’ll always associate with this trip and location. Plus, locals are usually tickled to hear that you enjoy their local specialty and often can recommend even more places to try it! This could be food, drink, a specific dessert or pastry… you won’t regret it. And right when you’re starting to get tired of it, it’s probably time to head back home. 😆
more
19
7
17w
Tips
shira barlow, ms rd
mantra: what if it works out embarrassingly well?
•••
I have a related mantra, which I embroidered to hang in my office as a reminder: “What if it’s easy?”
more
39
3
18w
Tips
Let algorithms plan your trip
•••
To be clear, I do not mean using AI, but one step behind that: let influencers and the social media algorithm help you plan. At least a few weeks before a trip, I go to Instagram and follow a few key accounts tied to wherever I’m going, ones that show you the main spots to visit, eat, and shop. Sometimes it’ll be the city or town’s tourism board, sometimes you look for the city and “secret,” sometimes you stumble on individuals who feel like it’s their job to share their city tips. Follow just 2-4 of them and then watch videos full of recommendations, opinions, and insider tips all flow into your feed. I use Instagram’s “Save” feature to quickly bookmark videos into a separate folder whenever I see them, then spend a dedicated hour later clicking through them and noting the ones I want to do in a spreadsheet or on a map. People who really live in a city have strong opinions about it, and largely want you to have a great trip there! That doesn’t change even when they’re just people in your phone.
more
10
2
18w
Tips
Gel manicures with a clear base at the bottom
•••
Regular gel manicures are one of my favorite life indulgences, because it falls into my favorite self-care pattern: 1) let an expert care for me once in a while 2) do zero maintenance or ongoing care till the next appointment 3) look great all the while I get a new manicure every 5-7 weeks, and I maintain that by always getting a design that’s clear at the bottom, so that the grow out is almost invisible. Here are some examples, and in the bottom-right, that’s a five-week-grown-out mani! Of course you can tell if you’re looking closely, but the illusion is good enough for me.
more
3
18w
Tips
Sunblock Stick for the Car
•••
This may be LA-specific, or for anywhere where it’s often sunny and you’re often sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. I always keep a stick of roll-on sunblock in the car and roll it onto the back of my hands and my forearms when I’m waiting at a red light. It helps guard against all the incidental tanning you get in the car, and gives you something non-phone-related to do at red lights too.
more
6
6
19w
Tips
A Lightboard or “Happy Lamp”
•••
I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I never realized until I lived in Seattle for five years and never wanted to emerge from my cozy apartment, then moved to LA and realized I’m neither lazy nor a homebody… I just need regular sunlight to motivate me to do things. Even in LA though, we have this phenomenon every May/June when every day starts out super cloudy (we’ve branded it with cutesy names like May Gray and June Gloom) before the sun usually emerges around lunchtime. After my time in Seattle, I decided to take charge of my mood and spend 5-10 min in front of a lightboard / therapy lamp like this on gray mornings. It really keeps me from feeling overly lethargic! Even when I think it’s not going to work this time, but what’s the harm… inevitably after letting it glow into my face for a few minutes, I find myself thinking, “hey, I actually can and should go do some stuff today, not crawl back into bed.” The power of light!
more
4
19w
Tips
Curate shared family playlists
•••
When my elder child turned 13, I dipped my toe into this by asking him to make me a playlist of songs he thought I’d like. It was fantastic, but I realized I wanted it to go both ways, so we came up with an approach for our whole family (at that time, two 40–something parents, a 13yo kid, a 9yo kid). At the start of each month, I create a collaborative playlist in Spotify where we all get to add two songs. No rules except that! They request to listen to the playlist in the car all month (eight songs is usually the perfect length for an afternoon of errands), get excited to share current faves with us, and are surprisingly tolerant of our mom-and-dad tastes. I’ve had real deep nostalgia in choosing songs that I feel are important for them to know (the first time I added Tori Amos!), and wow, have I listened to a lot of Japanese vocaloids in the last year or two (a whole thing, a teen could explain it to you if you don’t know). I love music so much and grew up with parents who didn’t listen to it much — it feels so satisfying to have this one little routine to connect us through these possibly tumultuous years (those kids are now 11 and almost 15). Also, we keep one comprehensive playlist of all the songs so far, and… that shit is full of bangers! PS you can do this with adults too, be they family or friends or colleagues!
more
5
1
19w
Tips
Setlist.fm
•••
This is one of the few things the internet has given us that I think is unequivocally good and can be SO USEFUL! For live concerts, this site tells you what the artist you’re seeing has played in previous set lists (hence the name), but also it usually lists when they actually took the stage (and when the opening acts did). It gives you little trivia bits like, “oh, it’s the first time they’ve played this song live in 10 years.” If they bring out a special guest onstage to perform and you have no idea who it was, this site will tell you. They track concerts going back decades — it’s not perfect, because it’s users providing the data, but if you ever wanted to harness the passion of fellow music nerds connected via 1s and 0s to help you figure out how late you can be to a show and not miss too much… this is an indispensable tool!
more
20w
Tips
Lee TP
complimenting strangers
•••
Yesssss! Also, for parents, teach your kids to do this if they feel comfortable with it — mine have done it their whole lives and MAN, do people especially brighten up when a cute kid (or a teenager! The ultimate arbiter of cool!) compliments them on their choice of jewelry.
more
8
20w
Tips
“Dumb” Watches
$145
•••
This is for anyone who fell down a smartwatch hole like I did, a hole I happily resided in for many years, with my streaks and alerts and reminders. One day, I realized it felt like the watch was the boss of me, not the other way around, and I didn’t need to feel like that. So I replaced it with a “dumb” watch and it immediately felt right. I still wear my old Apple Watch to track workouts but as soon as I put it on, my stress and annoyance levels climb incrementally with every notification. It’s such a relief to discard it afterwards for something calm and pretty that tells me the time when I look at it instead of news headlines at breakneck speed.
more
20w
Tips
Lying down on the ground
•••
If you have ever thought about it, just do it. You’ll know if it’s wrong for you in approximately .03 seconds. But when it feels right, it feels SO RIGHT. If you’re of an age (cough, I’ve heard) where you’re worried about how you’ll get back up again… just don’t get back up. It’s nice down here! Best move — if you have the space — is to starfish. Eventually, probably, you will feel ready to get back up and I swear, you’ll have an extra buzz in your belly.
more
11
20w
Tips
Candle Warmers
•••
I always wanted to love candles but would get them and forget to light them till they got old and dusty. No longer! A candle warmer is how I get to enjoy candles daily: instead of lighting one and dealing with open flame, I just push a button and the warmer turns on a light/heat that liquefies my candle and releases consistent scent all day. Push the button again to turn it off at the end of my day and that’s it! Easy as pie and I get to smell something lovely all day. Also, my candles have been lasting forever without a big sunken hole in the middle!
more
2
1
20w
Tips
Cook your salad greens
•••
I started doing this when doing a Eat Greens Every Day challenge with friends, and it’s such an easy habit to keep up: Buy bagged salad (it’s spinach in this pic but works with any greens mix), put literally 1/3 or 1/2 of the bag in a pan. It’ll look like an insane amount of salad, and should fill the whole pan. Warm over low to medium heat (add oil and salt if you like but it’s not necessary), and as you move it around, it literally wilts down to the teeniest pile in a few minutes. To me, making leafy greens look more doable to eat is a game-changer. I’ll add this to eggs, rice bowls, pasta, literally whatever. You’ve just eaten a whole bunch of salad greens — go forth and feel virtuous, and you can do it again tomorrow!
more
6
1
20w
Tips
Screen out unknown senders from iPhone Messages
•••
Especially in an election year!!!! If you don’t already do this: you’re welcome in advance. This setting splits your Messages inbox into two: 1) a main window that’s 98% people you know with maybe an occasional mistake text that slips in. 2) a hidden window (that you can always access!) with all the fundraising texts from politicians, survey requests from that one company you bought one thing from, and two-factor authentication codes. Even better, the things that you do need right away (those 2FA six digits, for example) still show up as a regular text notification, but they then sort themselves back into the “unknown senders” window. I’m no longer annoyed by 20 texts a day announcing a new candidate in a race for governor 12 states away from me!
more
43
7
20w
Tips
Joe
Approaching Unfamiliar Sports with an Open Heart
•••
1
20w
Tips
Wearing puffy socks to break in shoes
•••
This was magic?!? I’ve somehow never needed this before, but recently bought cute flats that sadly tore up the back of my ankles. The internet said to try wearing them around the house with thick socks on to widen the back, and… it totally worked!! Bonus: my feet were so cozy and comfy all day. And now, so are my shoes!
more
10
Follow Abby Phoenix
Follow
By submitting, you agree to our
Terms
and
Privacy Policy
© 2026
Privacy
Terms
Support
Report
Cookies
