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18w
Parenting
Be nice to (and interested in) your kids’ friends
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My teenager said to me the other day, “did you know my friends all think you’re cool?” Inner me: 🥳🎉🤪🤗🤩 Outer me: 🆒🆒🆒 He went on to tell me it’s because I actually listen to them and ask them questions about their lives but not like I’m trying to dig up dirt. AKA I treat them like actual real people, which of course, they are. There are so many benefits to this, chief among them trying to stave off your own child ever pitting you against their friend (the friend will always win! They’re cool and you’re a parent!!). But also, they’re someone who likes your kid too — you already have so much in common — and they can tell you if your kid is ever in need. But most importantly, kids have it so hard these days, largely because of the world we’re leaving them. So many of them could really use a friendly and supportive adult who’s not their own parent, to give them perspective or help or even just a listening ear. They’re going to mess up because they are still figuring things out — but it’s so worth it to always be rooting for them. Also worth it for how my own teen will now chant at me, “you’re not a regular mom, you’re a COOL MOM.” (Sarcastic or not, I’ll take it!)
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11
18w
Parenting
Visa gift card
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Honestly, money. We do a Visa or Mastercard gift card and a little note or card of appreciation from the child. No matter how sweet and cute all the other options seem to be… teachers put so much of their heart, efforts, time, and own money into teaching and caring for our kids and they are so underpaid — by the time they make it to the end of the year, I think the best way to appreciate them is to just give them money they can use for whatever they want or need.
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5
19w
Tips
Curate shared family playlists
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When my elder child turned 13, I dipped my toe into this by asking him to make me a playlist of songs he thought I’d like. It was fantastic, but I realized I wanted it to go both ways, so we came up with an approach for our whole family (at that time, two 40–something parents, a 13yo kid, a 9yo kid). At the start of each month, I create a collaborative playlist in Spotify where we all get to add two songs. No rules except that! They request to listen to the playlist in the car all month (eight songs is usually the perfect length for an afternoon of errands), get excited to share current faves with us, and are surprisingly tolerant of our mom-and-dad tastes. I’ve had real deep nostalgia in choosing songs that I feel are important for them to know (the first time I added Tori Amos!), and wow, have I listened to a lot of Japanese vocaloids in the last year or two (a whole thing, a teen could explain it to you if you don’t know). I love music so much and grew up with parents who didn’t listen to it much — it feels so satisfying to have this one little routine to connect us through these possibly tumultuous years (those kids are now 11 and almost 15). Also, we keep one comprehensive playlist of all the songs so far, and… that shit is full of bangers! PS you can do this with adults too, be they family or friends or colleagues!
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5
1
20w
LA
Books & Boba
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This is something I do with my kids but it’s just as much for me! Every Saturday afternoon, we walk to the library and then to the boba shop. Libraries are magical places in general, but I think especially so when you make them a regular habit and become part of their community. And we go to the boba shop enough that they gave us a free tote bag (well, if free = you spend money here every single weekend). 😝 A treat for the mind and tastebuds!
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33
2
20w
Tips
Lee TP
complimenting strangers
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Yesssss! Also, for parents, teach your kids to do this if they feel comfortable with it — mine have done it their whole lives and MAN, do people especially brighten up when a cute kid (or a teenager! The ultimate arbiter of cool!) compliments them on their choice of jewelry.
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