Looking for some clever responses to keep in my toolkit for when someone says something bigoted!

Question

Mari · Answer

“I don’t get it”: Make them explain themselves and hear how dumb they sound.

Jess · Answer

"We don't do that here.": This sentence does two wonderful things. First, it establishes that you, not they, are the authority about what's appropriate, in a way that makes it very hard for them to argue. Second, it's a conversation-ender. There are some very good examples of how to shut down some of the most common defensive maneuvers at the link.

Pro tip: if they genuinely want to be educated and improve their behavior, tell them that you're happy to help them at a different time rather than right away. If they follow through, it's a good indicator that they want to improve.

kate russell · Answer

Thumbs down and booing: If they double down I make fart noises. Surprisingly effective!

JaperMoon · Answer

“What makes you say that?”: This is a line i learned for teaching kids to look at and talk about art. It’s great because it makes the person explain their thought process and sometimes it makes them realize that they are jumping to conclusions or relying on biased beliefs.

(This is the most literal rec to be added to my “responses” collection; it’s a response response! And now the word has lost all meaning)

Becky Mollenkamp · Answer

Calling out bias: We talk about how to deal with bigots when they say something shitty around you in this episode of Messy Liberation with Evelyn Carter, author of "Was That Racist?"

Kath · Answer

“That’s a crazy thing to say out loud”: Said with a tone of surprise rather than aggression, even though you likely (rightly) feel angry. Let ‘em flounder a bit.