Recs for getting your spark back?

(I have felt dead inside for like half a year at least) (thank you in advance)

Question

Recs for getting your spark back?

(I have felt dead inside for like half a year at least) (thank you in advance)

Emilie Bienvenew · Answer

Mono no Aware : Finding Beauty in Life’s Fleeting Moments: I've learned this japanese philosophy which is so lovely :

To feel mono no aware is to reclaim to pause — 
to stand still, even briefly, and allow the beauty of passing moments to move you.

It teaches us: Because it ends, it matters. Because it fades, it’s precious.

One way this concept is applied yearly in Japan is the cherry blossom season - it's not just pretty, it's special because it's ephemeral. Apply it to all aspects of your life, game changer.

Charlotte · Answer

If you can, try diving 🐠: or snorkelling. Hire a wetsuit,  fins and a mask etc. or you can purchase your own mask. Soak up the beauty of being underwater.

I have really severe anxiety and I thought I’d be terrified of doing it. Turns out, it calmed my anxiety and kept me away from screens for a day.

Haley Mai · Answer

Stop Missing Your Life - Cory Muscara: currently reading it for the second time. this book has a way of reminding you it exists when you need it most (which i do at this current point in my life)

the way Cory explains finding presence, peace, meditation and self-exploration is like talking to a friend, not like talking to someone who claims to be on a higher ground.

Alexandra Silv · Answer

Check your ferritin! It goes unnoticed a lot and it helped me come back to life.

Annie Loves · Answer

📘 Make a list of 100 things you want...sounds weird but it's kinda magic!: At a low point I heard Tracey Gee talk about how much articulating what you want is a powerful exercise. In particularly muddle-ie seasons I keep returning to that advice. Her book is also great. Wishing you a quick return of your ✨!

sofie · Answer

Dance Church: Unfortunately, I need to fork over $20 and be in a room full of strangers to dance so hard that sweat pours into my eyes and I transcend my corporeal form, but it’s absolutely worth every dollar and even a drive in rush hour. Lifts me out of a funk every time, makes me feel hot and fun.

If Dance Church is not where you live, there are many other similar forms. A friend is deeply committed to Jazzercise, I went through a Zumba phases. As many others have said, it’s just about dancing your ass off. But if you are like me, you might need some lite instruction to help you along.

Liz · Answer

Morning Pages: Morning pages has changed my life. You can learn more in Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way. But the assignment is simple - every day (ideally in the morning) write 3 stream-of-consciousness pages about whatever the eff is in your head. No pressure, just start writing. You will be amazed at what comes out. And it will open up brain space for creativity and inspiration. It takes me about 20 minutes, and I usually don't manage to do it every day. But when I do, I thank myself!

Emily · Answer

West LA’s daily virtual al anon meeting: LA has the best 12 step meetings any side of Mississippi. There is a life-saving amount of recovery in this meeting. 735-835am PT, different link every day but easy to find in the grid linked because it’s always at the same time. you can listen to it like a podcast with camera off while you have coffee (from anywhere).

Updating for those who aren't familiar with Al Anon: technically the twelve step program for friends and families of alcoholics, really a lifestyle program for anyone who wants to stop obsessing over/trying and failing to control other people's behavior.

Jules · Answer

go dancing: connect to that body, girl. there are epiphanies waiting on the dance floor. i do my best thinking when im not thinking.

Sara · Answer

Cold water swimming: Ideally on the regular, ideally in a natural body of water. But whatever is actually feasible is perfect. So exhilarating, makes me feel 11/10 alive.

Jackie Homan · Answer

Volunteer manual labor to cure general malaise: Hear me out: if your work days are mostly sitting at a computer for long stretches, making decisions, managing things, etc… it feels really good to have someone point to 100 folding chairs and ask you to break them down and carry them to a loading dock. You just do as you’re told and get to be out of your own head and helping a cause (in this case, helping set up a community film festival screening)

pino · Answer

nature!: i mean nature always fixes me but that’s bc i live in a city so slowing down is really helpful. i would also recommend therapy. maybe seeing a psych even? that has been life changing for me this year

Rachel Hellesto · Answer

Spending time with kids: Go look at butterflies! Learn how to ask fun questions again. Do the same thing over and over again. Be outside! Notice all the sounds you can hear and talk about them. Read books out loud. Giggle! Play! Climb on stuff! Literally the best medicine.

Katie C. · Answer

end your shower with as much cold water as you can stand.

Lucie · Answer

start noticing more: start going on short walks when you can, morning or evening. find one small thing you enjoy (doesn’t have to be a hobby) and think of it or do it as often as you can. go window shopping or to a public garden or museum or anything that has lots to look at, and just look around. watch some old movies or foreign films. have cut flowers in your house somewhere you see them often. start a small collection of something. for me, when it feels like nothing matters, one small window into feeling that something does, is to pay attention to something seemingly very trivial, you do not even need to share these noticings with anyone else, they’re just for you, because part of feeling more alive inside is paying attention to what makes you feel anything at all. also, morning pages.

Jess · Answer

(Responsibly) Leaving Civilization Behind to Catch Up On Yourself: I go on retreat to the woods a couple of times a year. I bring a notebook, a pile of books, my favorite snacks, and occasionally my cat. I walk, think, read, build fires, and smell trees. It's incredibly good for the soul.

When I'm in the woods, I get a break from being a professor, a parent, and even a partner. I just get to be alone with myself and experience myself as a person.

Space Camp · Answer

reiki!: I was in a MAJOR funk a couple of years ago and started getting reiki from a local tattoo artist. Changed my life.

Josie · Answer

on self respect by joan didion: i read this when i’m in a funk

Meg · Answer

Earlybirds Club: A Dance Party for Ladies With Shit to Do: Highly recommend Earlybirds as a means of tapping into your inner vitality. I went with my sister and time-traveled back to a pre-Instagram era when no one policed each other’s dance moves on the internet. Scream-singing the chorus to “Killing Me Softly” with a club full of other women is medicine.

Lizzie · Answer

Journaling and walking or walk/running or running!: Feel aliiiiiive outsiiiiiide even if it’s hotttt or colddddd and then journal to capture any big or little specific feeling or experience

Julia · Answer

Add water: When kids are having a tough day you add water. Usually it’s one of three ways: (1) Give them a glass of water. (2) Put them in a bath (3) Put them outside with a hose or some other source of water.

Why not the same for adults?? Add some water to your life - beach, pool, bath.

Sophie Consults · Answer

Microdose: Change your mind! 🌈

Kate · Answer

work at a pie shop on Sundays: after six years of working remotely (my entire career? annoyingly?) I got a part-time job working at a pie shop for a few hours on Sundays. I get to give pie to smiling children! I have regulars! I get free pie! I am reminded that having a real job with real people is pretty great!

(burnt out remote workers.... do this)

Kate · Answer

having an arbitrary stupid goal: I stole this from Tamara Shopsin’s excellent memoir, but her dad’s take is that to be happy, you should always have SOMETHING you are chasing. No matter how stupid. It makes life fun!

Good potential goals:

Going to all the state parks in your state

Reading every Jane Austen book in a month

Seeing a movie a week for a year

Ashley WS · Answer

Pick a new hobby and commit to being bad at it: Seriously. I was depressed, empty, burnt out, uninspired, and bland. I talked about it in therapy often. My therapist told me to pick something I could do for just me. No one would need to know or see it. So it could be really bad. I kept mentioning I wanted to learn how to do Lino prints. So I bought some basic supplies and started. It was the beginning of finding my spark back. I made mistakes, had big flops, but I also made something with my own two hands. It was an incredibly physical process. It was repetitive and cathartic and healed my nervous system enough to find joy and creativity back.

Your spark isn’t gone for good. It just needs some more kindling to make it grow into a brilliant roaring flame. Rooting for you. :)

Vera · Answer

Live Your Values deck: Use this deck to figure out what your core values are, then use the back of each card for inspiration as to how to really live those values in your daily life 💫

chiarabelle · Answer

Helping others: One of the best ways to get out of your own head, and get a new perspective. Doesn’t have to be hardcore volunteer work. Could be making soup to drop off to a sick friend, going to the thrift store and finding the best cheapest baby clothes, washing them and then donating to the nearest shelter, etc. Also, sending you hugs 🫶🏼

Koorb · Answer

Swim with sharks: Literally. After a debilitating breakup, I took a trip to Belize with a good friend. We got scuba-certified and dove in an area called Shark Ray Alley. It was easily the scariest thing I’d ever done. (I have a lifelong phobia of sharks and the ocean!) We must have seen 5 or 6 sharks, including one that swam right by me. But it shook me up in a great way, and I came home feeling good. So I guess my recommendation is to do something scary. Good luck to you.

Rebecca · Answer

Join A Group Of Like Minded People: When I was recovering from a long illness that coincided with me being out of work, when I went back, my life was dark and I would go home at night and cry. I hadn’t stayed in touch with my friends and I was angry about the time lost sick.

Idky I went the first time but I decided to join a local grassroots community for political leftists and they were just getting going, so had a big need for volunteers. Except — it is always like that! Either we need to do more to feel useful or to engage the members that only come to one meeting a month, but one way or another if you come and don’t refuse all our suggestions you end up with a project and a group of people to help you make it happen. My phone starts buzzing all the time about this or that sub-group, but it’s like work, and you can ignore when necessary but then a few hours later go back & read what you’ve missed.

There’s side dramas that can be stressful for those involved, but I absolutely love to observe from the sidelines.

Semi-frequently there are reasons to travel as a group for conferences and retreats. I love doing this, it makes leaving our rural community much more affordable. We have a way to go before we enact any type of meaningful material change, but just working with a group of positive, engaged, kind people who want to help, has made my life fully dimensional again. In fact, before I got sick and was out of work, I was always dating 🤮 and it never went anywhere. Now I don’t have the time, and I am SO happy that I can just, organize, and be an activist, and not worry about some stupid manchild dragging me down to his level.

So—- Join A Group! Mine is the local chapter of the DSA but you join anything that reminds you you’re not alone! Libraries and hospitals need volunteers. Most communities have trash pick ups at the beach or similar. Animal shelters need dog walkers, and my mom found her community at a boutique gym for people who like to go to the gym. There is something with people who are cut from your cloth out there, just go find it

Noelle · Answer

Artist Dates: The idea comes from the Julia Cameron book The Artist’s Way, (which is a 12 week creative rehab that I also recommend!). You don’t have to be an artist and the date does not have to have anything to do with art. The idea is that you give yourself a weekly chunk of time to spend doing something fun, alone. (I would also recommend no phone.) It’s a scheduled time to play, with no outcomes attached. I find it really powerful because you start to connect to what you actually want to do. Not what you think you should be doing, or what you wanted to do yesterday—but right now, what sounds good? Maybe you think you should go to a museum but you actually want to get a stack of trashy magazines and read them in the sun. Relearning to hear/feel/locate your own desires and interests usually illuminates the path forward.

flat · Answer

channel your inner winston churchill: battle “the black dog” as he called it (the big sad as i call it) by laying some bricks

or, more generally, by using your hands to create more than you consume

Meg · Answer

Channeling Don Draper: The power of apathy neutralizes rumination and rage. Block it/them energetically and watch yourself thrive.

Kathy · Answer

Make sure you’re doing things that demand your complete attention: I cook meals from scratch, sew and embroider, garden, read books, etc., away from the phone. You’ll come away with things you’re proud of OR just knowing you’re learning in an incremental way.

Rob · Answer

A Simple Letting Go Ceremony: there a million ways to do a fire ritual, and any of them will do. rec a full moon. ❤️🔥❤️

Soph · Answer

Write 6 things you’re grateful for in a journal before bed: plus add one thing you want to happen, but write it like it already happened. Close it. Forget about it. Let the momentum build until you’re full of sparks and magic. Low lift burn out routine.

Jenn · Answer

complimenting strangers: The high goes both ways! It’s so delightful to give random compliments - also saying congratulations to anyone out in graduation regalia, wedding dresses, etc.