Getting your spark back
“Recs for getting your spark back?”
24 answers from 22 people · Updated Oct 12, 2026
Kate Berlant told me to read this book on @Poog Podcast and it literally changed my life. Quit my job and opened a store! My bff and I read it aloud to each other on a trip to Tuscany (bliss). It’s basically the TLDR version of every book jungian analyst James Hollis has ever written— each chapter is like 4 pages long and you’re only allowed to read one chapter a day. The actual truths of life that are too inconvient for grift-y self help books. The ONLY man I trust!
825
I’ve read so much self-help, and I think this book is the only one that I recommend that people come back and later thank me for. I’ve even had someone I recommended it too forget and recommend it to me later. It’s just motivating months later which I think is the hard part of trying to evolve. Eventually, you lose the courage or the why. And there’s no better reminder than being more conscientious of time passing. Also, I am sorry you are going through this. When I had my last break-up, a friend went to a used bookstore and bought me her favorite books. She took me to a Korean spa and explained why she chose each one… and we both read. And I can’t help but think how much I wish I could do that for someone else. Maybe you might want to? It’s nice to return to what makes you happy… and there’s no better way to get out of your own head than to think of how to make someone else happy who deserves your love. Also, retail therapy.
361
lost? no sense of purpose? this book rewired my brain...
22 recs
breaking free from algorithms, slowing down, returning to things i forgot i loved
Pick a new hobby and commit to being bad at it
Seriously. I was depressed, empty, burnt out, uninspired, and bland. I talked about it in therapy often. My therapist told me to pick something I could do for just me. No one would need to know or see it. So it could be really bad. I kept mentioning I wanted to learn how to do Lino prints. So I bought some basic supplies and started. It was the beginning of finding my spark back. I made mistakes, had big flops, but I also made something with my own two hands. It was an incredibly physical process. It was repetitive and cathartic and healed my nervous system enough to find joy and creativity back. Your spark isn’t gone for good. It just needs some more kindling to make it grow into a brilliant roaring flame. Rooting for you. :)
60
having an arbitrary stupid goal
I stole this from Tamara Shopsin’s excellent memoir, but her dad’s take is that to be happy, you should always have SOMETHING you are chasing. No matter how stupid. It makes life fun! Good potential goals: Going to all the state parks in your state Reading every Jane Austen book in a month Seeing a movie a week for a year
798
Just a great way to do more fun stuff. Very satisfying to get bingo! (my friend did an unemployment bingo card and said it single handily is getting her through it)
21
i believe this author has since updated her work and branding, but this book/workbook changed my life. reordered how i think about should, could and would. it’s a very fun exercise that makes life planning much less about being a productive member of society with money and more about you.
244
The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery
Blue Castle is written by L.M. Montgomery, the author of Anne of Green Gables. Prior to reading Blue Castle, I had no idea Montgomery had written other books. Here is the Goodreads book synopsis and what ended up grabbing my attention (and led me to eventually reading it): “If it had not rained on a certain May morning, Valancy Stirling's whole life would have been entirely different." At twenty-nine, Valancy had never been in love and it seemed romance had completely passed her by. Her only consolation were the "forbidden" books of John Foster and her daydreams of the Blue Castle. All her life Valancy lived on a quiet little street, in an ugly little house, never daring to contradict her overbearing mother and meddlesome aunt. Until the fateful day a letter came from Doctor Trent—and Valancy decided to throw caution to the wind once and for all... For the first time in her life, Valancy said and did exactly what she wanted. Soon she discovered a world full of fine surprises and real adventures that she never knew could exist outside of her secret Blue Castle.
24
The Women Who Run With the Wolves
I read this in DC on the bottom bunk of a hostel after a break up. It changed me.
Big Leap, The: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
since we all reach our upper limit and this book gives you a new perspective on your glass ceilings. we reach a new goal, and it suddenly does not feel good, but why? the book gives an answer and how to break through our comfort zone. it's a book that changes you on a deeper level and let you reach new heights <3 it's helped me a lot!
4
Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change (Olga Khazan)
This book deeply changed me as a person. And continues to help me in my aspirations to become a better person a little bit each day.
5
after six years of working remotely (my entire career? annoyingly?) I got a part-time job working at a pie shop for a few hours on Sundays. I get to give pie to smiling children! I have regulars! I get free pie! I am reminded that having a real job with real people is pretty great! (burnt out remote workers.... do this)
623
I started playing a year ago today and it kinda saved me?? My local parks and rec will have my love forever because the classes are affordable and the ppl are great.
1
Joining an adult synchronized skating team
In honor of synchro finally making it to the Olympics in 2030, a reflection on my favorite hobby: As an adult, when I said I missed synchro, what I meant was I missed the scent of Garnier Fructis hair gel mixed with locker room sweat, and the gentle pulse of a thumb-shaped bruise on my bicep, and the auto-play movie that projects behind my eyelids when I go to sleep, where I am somehow both in my body and above it, monologuing each step in the program as a figment of myself performs it. I missed the all-encompassing, childlike feeling of my hobby as my identity. In the locker room, my team and our coaches hold hands in a circle and pass a squeeze around, then scream together at the top of our lungs, an exorcism for nerves. As we walk single-file toward the rink, my coach high-fives each of us down the line. I step onto the ice and feel floaty, then try to remember to bend my knees. I don’t know how else to write about skating without sounding like a sixth-grader, because on the ice, I feel like a sixth-grader. I think maybe that’s a good thing. At the end of the program, I cannot stop smiling. There is something special about trying hard at something that will never matter professionally or really at all.
82
The community around adult crafting is top notch. Check out your local library, city parks and rec, or community education programs for affordable and fun options! There are also so many small, local businesses that offer beginning classes!
5
Teaching a free class on something you love
On a whim, I decided to try and host a class at the local lesbian bar about one of my favorite grandma hobbies (scoring a baseball game) and it was so fun and my heart felt so full. Why not host something for your community? Why not feel better than you have in ages?
472
productive rest sounds like an oxymoron but there’s truth to it. i’ve been struggggling with burn out this month and my normal rest routines haven’t been working. ive turned to the rest wheel on many occasions to help me figure out what i actually need to unwind and de-stress
1475
Mentally revisit your past selves and follow their joy
Spend some time thinking about some of your most fulfilling times. What filled your time? Where did you go? What were your rituals? Who did you spend time with? Try pulling on some of those threads! Chase the feeling, not the glamor. (Read: Do not post about it on social media—you’ll end up doing things for the wrong reasons!) For example, if the last time you felt fulfilled was on your last vacation… what were some factors that led to that feeling? Was it because you were surrounded by a language you couldn’t speak? Try taking a language class. Or was it fulfilling because you were able to be more spontaneous? Try taking a new route home from work or a different grocery store. Did you take the time to enjoy the sights? Plan to watch the sunset from a beautiful spot you don’t go to often enough! Or maybe you had fun at a previous job. Was there a cultural element to that? An easy after-work hang out buddy? A morning coffee ritual in the office? Invite a friend for a recurring hang. Invite a neighbor over for tea. Maybe bring a fancy treat to the office next week as a surprise for your favorite colleagues. Maybe in college you had a blast because you were constantly surrounded by friends. Tag along with your friends on their errands now. Offer to help making dinner with a friend or invite them to dinner at yours. Doesn’t have to be fancy. You can both wear pajamas and cozy socks. Or rewinding way back, were you a child who played sports? Wrote stories? Painted? Find a rec league or an art class! You don’t have to be good at what you’re doing to stretch your mind. Learning new things forces you to pay attention, and that focus forces some amount of anxiety to shut the hell right up. Remind yourself: you do not have to be good. Just get out there! Lower the bar for yourself. Hopefully some of the previous phases in your life give you a starting point for what you can try out again. Maybe some of those things aren’t as fun as they used to be, but maybe some are. And maybe they just lead you to something new that’s perfect for today’s best version of you. Good luck! ♥️
343
rearranging all of the furniture in my house every 6 months
Hard agree. This may seem like a lot of work and not a “shortcut” but I truly believe that creating a new space in your home or workspace, even if it’s just one corner, resets something in your brain and creates new possibilities/ideas where you didn’t see them before.
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