Please help me put my phone down. Any techniques, gadgets, advice? Something that will actually work and not just for a day or two.

Question

anna · Answer

keyboard phone: Honestly buy a phone where you only can call, text and listen to music like this (or eliminate social media)

Maoxian · Answer

Screen Time: Good for blocking out 10PM to 8AM anyway...

Kate Beck · Answer

A “home” for your phone: Added these little phone pockets by the front door and in the bedroom with a charger (by the door, away from the bed) so we treat them more like landlines when we’re at home. Keeps the phone out of my pocket and reduces the scrolling temptation!

Thomas · Answer

Put your phone in a drawer (or in the other room): You can download all the blockers and delete all the distracting apps and buy all the gadgets but research shows even seeing it nearby drains your mental bandwidth since you are spending energy "ignoring" the phone.

Linked is the meta-analysis that supports this and within that has some interesting studies over the past few years showing how your phone brings down cognitive performance.

AMB · Answer

Turning off Phone Notifications: I have turned off unnecessary phone notifications to help minimize digital clutter and improve my mental health. For example: I still have my text message notifications on, but I’ve turned off random notifications from Instagram. I don’t care that someone from high school commented on my best friend’s post too. Or I don’t need a notification a movie is being added to Netflix (I’ll see it when I log in). You can play around with what notifications to turn off and what works best for your life, but I have noticed that by choosing when and how to engage, I can protect my mental wellbeing more effectively.

kelsey · Answer

Dumb phone: Minimal Phone: Heavily considering a dumb/simple phone like The Light Phone or Minimal Phone because I need help.

Keyboard would send me back to Blackberry nostalgia.

Could go cheaper than these options too but I like the idea that I could completely replace my iphone by downgrading but still have essential internet for remote work(email, Slack).

Cate Pileggi · Answer

ScreenZen: The only app-blocking app that actually reduced my screen time significantly. Donation-based. Say how much time you want to spend on an app and break it into chunks (for example 1 hour in four 15 min chunks). Keep your streak by staying in your time constraint. Helps me stop the mindless scroll.

Sarah Beck · Answer

Postcards To Voters: 55 days til the midterms! You looking for an easy way to put your phone down and make a difference in the extremely consequential upcoming election? Click this link, send in a sample, get approved and you'll receive a list of addresses to send letters to in contested districts. An easy way to feel good and do good.

JZ · Answer

The Distraction-Free Phone: I have deeply researched and experimented with this (among other reasons, for my book Make Time) and firmly believe that most people should delete ~every “infinity pool” app from your phone. It sounds terrifying but it’s actually liberating.

Karen Fischer · Answer

Put your phone on airplane mode when you sleep: I've been doing this for years now. I often listen to a podcast to fall asleep, so I put my phone on airplane and listen with it near me, but texts/emails/etc don't disturb me. If you don't listen to podcasts or music/white noise to drift to sleep, charge it in another room on airplane.

Michael Bolognino · Answer

Your phone addiction is keeping you from achieving flow state (Arthur Brooks): I found this video helpful and it somehow got me leaving my phone in the kitchen at night and other impossibilities for the last 4 weeks now. I liked the scientific explanations and stayed engaged for the whole thing. That said, he is a tad annoying but I still found it worth the watch.

Ena · Answer

Deactivating instagram: Taking in less of other people’s lives has freed up my brain space and changed my interactions with the world (and thus also made me able to more meaningfully connect with others). A lot of nostalgia of ~the way life used to be~ is still there, accessible to us when we make room for it

Annie Loves · Answer

Make a tiny blanket to put your phone to bed: You can make a loom out of a cardboard box and some kitchen twine, and then use up the random yarn you have from old projects to make a cute little cell-phone-sized comforter. Tuck your phone in at night or to make it take a nap if you need to get stuff done! I'm not above playing little tricks on myself to get things done, especially if they're cute tricks.

Zoe Det · Answer

Spite Mark Zuckerberg with ScreenZen: The only app/method I have found useful for curbing social media usage while still using them a little bit. You can set extremely customizable limits, and set your own message for yourself before you open them.

Mine says “don’t make Mark Zuckerberg money,” bc sometimes spite is the most motivating emotion.

pino · Answer

kindle: kinda feels like ur holding a phone plus it’s touch screen! but ur actually reading

Jamie · Answer

foqos: i swear by foqos! it’s like that little “brick” device but you can use any NFC tag or QR code to activate a session and it’s completely free. blocks chosen apps and sites FOR REAL and has a lot of different options for how impossible you want it to be to end a session when you shouldn’t. has successfully held me back from many an all-night IG doomscroll

Julie Martin · Answer

Brick - Take Back Control of Your Screen Time: I use this almost everyday and it actually works. You can specify which apps you use the most and need a break from. When you tap the brick, it locks you out of those apps until you tap back in. I put mine on my fridge and tap out before I leave for the day. Works amazing for trips too, you can completely be social media free!

jhow · Answer

Move To Scroll app: Can’t recommend this app enough! Set a daily step goal to unlock certain apps. Has got me motivated to walk and less reliant on checking the apps!

Catherine Davis · Answer

Toss Your Phone Into the Sea: A girl can dream

Vanessa · Answer

Get into embroidery: Or any handicrafts, but the last few winters I got really into embroidery and this is one of my last projects. It’s fun to see my progress from the first pieces to the last. Anyway it keeps my hands busy and not reaching for the phone!

sofie · Answer

Do It Yourself: The only thing that has worked well for me long term is to be resolute in my desire to be on my phone less, and then make my phone as boring as possible. No social media, no games, no notifications, a one minute limit on the browser and mostly trusting that if I really need to know something I can look it up later. Ideally I would also remove email and just have the good things — maps, music, podcasts, text, phone, camera — but that doesn’t seem practical. Anything that makes you pick up your phone and toodle the day away, delete it ruthlessly. You don’t need it.

I also make it black and white, and then add accessibility shortcuts when I need to see a picture or follow a map.

There will be seasons. Sometimes I get sick and download Polytopia to rot. Right now I spend a lot of time breast feeding in a chair and my baby keeps playing with books and magazines, so I’m hanging on Rec League and watching YouTube in the middle of the night. But the deep desire to not be on your phone, the forgiveness for the seasons when you lapse for reasons good and less good, and as boring a phone as possible is the path. You don’t need to buy something new to quit your phone!

Like that ex I hung on to for way too long, I just had to realize that my phone is not worth my time.

Jill · Answer

Black and white: Put a black and white filter on your phone (or red, I’ve heard of others doing red). It’s awful, you’ll hate it so it’s perfect. The color is part of what makes our phones so addictive. I’m right there with you!

Maribeth · Answer

“Is this really what I want to do with my time?” 🤳➡️🌊: This takes active effort, but most things will since you’re actively breaking a habit… it plays out like this:

When you’re spending time on your phone, train yourself to ask “is this really what I want to do with my time?” Remind yourself, how you spend your time is how you spend your life. If you’re mindlessly scrolling or googling random facts, there’s probably a better alternative. The answer is usually “no, this is not how I want to spend my time or my life” and that should send you immediately to do something else. Literally doesn’t matter what. Just stop looking at your phone. That takes control.

I think it’s easier to have a mental list of how to fill out the sentence: “I want to be a person who _________.” Doesn’t have to be groundbreaking: I want to be a person who goes on walks, sends letters to friends, calls my friends/family, exercises regularly, reads books, makes art, cooks at home. Whatever your list is, those are the things you go do when you put your phone down.

Other ideas that can also help:

leave your phone out of sight: in a different room, or in a drawer

keep your phone on black and white mode: makes it waaaay less fun/engaging

ideally you’re committed enough to delete the apps that eat your time; if not, using the web version usually means the developers can’t get as many bells and whistles in, which makes them less engaging and sometimes buggy (less fun)

put screen time timers on the apps you spend too much time on to make them more irritating to use

make calls instead of texting (efficiency)

turn your phone off (it’s funny that no one ever suggests/does this, but back when we all had landlines everyone was fine not being able to get ahold of anyone at all hours… you’ll be fine) and check it in the evening. This will make you realize you have to actually make plans and stick to them, which is also a more efficient use of energy: you’re not wasting your life rescheduling shit you already spent the time and effort to plan out. Your friends will see you’re reliable, and if they bail that’s on them! You’ll see quickly which friends flake and you’ll spend more time with friends that are equally as reliable as you!

Jess · Answer

Create a custom lock screen: I made a custom lock screen with a list of non-phone things that are important to me. When I pick up my phone, I take a minute to reflect on whether I’d rather be doing one of those other things. When I feel like my phone time is getting out of hand, I step it up one notch: I must do one of the things on my list for five minutes before phone time. Often I get absorbed and don’t go back to the phone at all.

Two key moves here:

Reframe from what you don’t want to what you DO want

Add a tiny bit of friction at the point where you make a choice