Polysecure

“I had put off reading this for a few years because I was in a queer monogamous relationship, had disorganized (my fault) and overly hierarchical (for me) poly experiences, and didn't feel ready to do the work that this book required. I regret not reading it sooner for my own elucidation. I read the Ethical Slut a long time ago which was fun and affirming; Polysecure is more productively challenging. Even if you're monogamous or currently in a monogamous relationship, I think it contains a lot of helpful information about attachment that applies to all types of relationships, including friendships. One takeaway Fern reiterates that I keep thinking about is the importance of folks procuring "secure attachment from their relational experiences instead of their relationship structures." I will be sitting with that for a while. So happy this book randomly came back into my life via cat sitting! Hope it helps you out too, if you're interested.”