Robert Pattinson: A Massive Star in Isolation

“If you have a minute today, I implore you to read this profile. I have never looked at Robert Pattinson the same way (complimentary) since reading. It would be easy to explain away the weirdness as a Covid-era temporary insanity, but I am convinced that this is exactly how nuts he is to his core and I think that is lovely.”

“Two years ago, my man and I took a road trip through the national parks of Washington. I read this out loud to him on the porch of a little b&b in Forks (thematically fitting) and we could not stop hooting and hollering. The saga of Piccolini Cucino is maybe my favorite piece of celebrity lore. I want, desperately, to be Rob’s friend in real life.”