AppleRankings.com

“So behind on this site….but the takes are strong, serving real CORE-strength. Get it?! Also shameless plug here for an Allentown spoof called “Gay Apple Farm” from an old Kimmy Schmidt spec script.”

“Always a delightful fall read. Sad about my homeland Apple Rankings ("McIntosh Apple: A Seal-Skinned Canadian Letdown"); absolutely agree with Red Delicious ("Coffee Grounds in a Leather Glove") and Pink Lady, a personal favorite ("The perfect blend of sweet and tart, this fiery bitch is a headliner at supermarkets worldwide.") Interested in trying to find a Ludacrisp ("Admittedly, it would be difficult to sell a supermarket on a dirty south rapple with a sign that says “Move Pears Get Out Da Way.”") and will look out for the Golden Russet ("A putrid corpse"). Must read before putting out apples for bobbing.”

“apples and sass”

“sarcastic ranking of apple varieties. personally, Lucy Glo is my all time fave (look n taste)”

“Featured in The Wonderlyst #118 The definitive list of good and bad apples.”

“Tis the season.”