It’s my 30th birthday!! Any recs for approaching the new decade?

Question

Dylan · Answer

When someone asks what you want for your birthday...direct them to your Rec League!: So it's my birthday on Thursday (yes, I'm a Leo, obviously I have to announce it to the world), and a friend who's insisting on buying me a gift asked what my favourite scents were.

Naturally, I replied, "Your presence is the only present I need!", to which she responded, "Well, I'm going to buy you something anyway, so you might as well tell me!"...

So I sent her a link to my rec league collection of my favourite smells!

It's giving wedding registry but more fun! Also yes that is little me circa 1989 🥲

I ♥️ @Rec League!

Dylan · Answer

feel the discomfort and move forward: one of my affirmations for 2026

Dylan · Answer

Figure out how to be your most authentic self: Ok this is my 40-year-old-recovering-people-pleaser ramble on how to stop caring about what people think of you... Do what you will with this information!!!! Is this wisdom or delusion? Who cares! Also I'm still absolutely learning how to do this and am far from being an expert...

It might sound cliché, but once you learn to embrace your true self (let that freak flag fly!) and figure out your core values, it's much easier to care less what others think of you. It's worth asking yourself: are others even thinking those things, or are these just stories you're telling yourself? Why waste energy worrying about how everyone else is perceiving us? It's exhausting, and we will never win.

Something I've been practising this year is not responding to indirect communication. I’m autistic, so I have always struggled with people who speak in riddles and don’t say what they mean (which I know can be challenging for many of us, particularly certain groups of people due to the way we have been socialised to apologise for taking up space). I also encourage the people I love to do the same.

If I sense someone is annoyed or angry, I will ask them directly if they want to talk about it. If they say they don't, rather than ruminating on it and assuming it's all my fault or that there’s something wrong with me, I now practise accepting what they've said at face value, then wait for them to come to me if/when they're ready to talk about it. I used to expend so much energy dwelling on what I'd done wrong or how to fix it immediately because anything felt better than sitting in the discomfort of the unknown. Maybe it actually has nothing to do with me.

Another thing I’ve been practising this year is relinquishing the desire to control the narrative - let people misunderstand you! Let people judge you or even hate you! I'm def NOT saying use the "let them" theory because I believe that's reductive, toxic and individualistic. But there's a point at which we can get so preoccupied with how we're perceived or understood (classic struggle of a neurodivergent brain), we end up wasting precious energy convincing people of our worth. We don’t need to convince people of our worth; we are already worthy!!!

It feels liberating once you practice letting go of that need to be liked or understood by everyone. It frees up precious space in your life for the right people to find you - the ones who will see you and understand you. We assume so much because - if you're like me - we tend to experience severe discomfort in silence - so instead of sitting in that discomfort, we try to fill in the gaps in communication with our own made-up stories. Chances are, people aren't thinking about you as much as you're thinking about you. Sometimes it's just not that deep!

Creating assumptions or false narratives based on social media is a classic example of this - it's so easy to piece together a story in your head based on a few tiny curated snippets from someone's social media, but how about having an actual irl conversation to find out what's actually happening in each other's lives? Groundbreaking.

Anyway, if you made it this far, congratulations and thank you for indulging me!!!

Catherine Davis · Answer

Whole Foods Wild Berry Chantilly Cake: I love cake but I don’t bake. I never thought a grocery store cake could be good until my BFF told me about this one. (She’s very discerning about food- and everything else- ha) This cake is delicious and the perfect size for a small dinner party (6 inches).

Amu Killada · Answer

My daily watch - Rolex Air King 70s: Wanted to get something special to celebrate my 30th birthday, so I got this a couple of years ago—and I’ve worn it almost every day since. It’s simple, vintage, and works for pretty much any occasion. I love how versatile it is: I can wear it as a dress watch, an everyday watch, and, yes, I even wear it to the gym.