I Feel Bad About My Neck

“For years, my trick for impressing boys was to casually ask them what their favorite book was and then present a signed first edition (it usually wasn’t very expensive because no one picked, like, War and Peace. I was dating boys who didn’t read- it’s not that hard to get a signed first edition of the Motley Crue bio The Dirt!) Then one day I realized that the person who loved books was ME! And having a signed first edition of something you love is just the pinnacle of bibliophilic pleasure. I like it equally if they’re not signed by the author at all: I haunt library sales, preferring torn columns dedicated from one best friend forever to the other, a sign of a broken romance or a child who has strayed far from home. We express our hopes for the people we love when we dedicate books to them. We express our hopes for ourselves when we smack in library plates or add “if lost, return to.” Btw, you’re never lost with a book in hand!”