The Process of Belief

“[formatting easier to read on desktop] growing up, there were 2 radio stations. KROQ and POWER 106. so you got either rock, rap, r+b, or some pop to cope in a hot and fake face'd LA. the first time i heard Sorrow, i was just a kid. was familiar already. then my voice and words were taken + beaten + bled from me. i fought back but there’s no salvation in that. systems of belief failed me. family learns to steal once you get any thing. friends who truly got it ~ few and far between. misunderstanding after ‘misunderstanding’ even after privacy + vulnerability get violated. you learn how long you can explain yourself + your needs to someone who says they love you. or hate who you are. you forget how to smile and learn to wear a scowl with hollow eyes. then you learn what’s real. and how to cry when you’re wrong. you learn to make what can’t be felt ~ tangible ~ not quite repeatable. but there’s real beauty in that. and punk songs sound like gospel on the days where you're left to hold your head up in silence. so. i got out there. got dirty in brake + city dust. (made my friends puke) and some of it stuck. that kind of dust turns your heart to new hues. but what really stuck felt true ~ Amoeba records. talking to similar punks. yawning + yelling at nostalgic transplants who complain while taking space from families who are too tired or young to speak or decorate to their tastes. (i hated it here too but it’s the only home i can't claim) giving space to judgmental hipsters who are heavy handed with one-way lessons or will just manipulate and leave the scene through force or selfish choice. (they suffer from the same afflictions) and time by the water, or on the concrete, to appreciate that it could ever exist altogether. ~~~ name + controversial symbols explained at 01:02:44 of Along the Way doc. [transcript] y'all know greg has a phd in zoology and teaches at UCLA & Cornell and has a bird named after him, ya? so glad he was a voice i heard as a kid. had a nice chat with a father at REI co~op about Social Distortion and how they saved him as a kid in the pit + stayed in the scene. so on my list to listen again. it’s interesting to hear pieces of reggae, rockabilly, and thrash all in the songs and on the album. that was kind of the LA radio sound ~ Sublime + Metallica + Tiger Army. …relistening + typing ꩜ Supersonic, Prove It, Broken, Materialist, Kyoto Now!, Sorrow, Epiphany, Evangeline, The Defense, You Don’t Belong, Bored and Extremely Dangerous album on youtube + apple”