Wellness Formula

“weak immune system, this helps”

“tastes absolutely vile and smells worse, but it’ll cure what ails ya.”

“Take this on cold onset! It reliably shortens and lessens symptoms 70% of the time. The tablets are better but taste awful. That’s how you know it’s good.”

“invincible stuff”

“I swear by these. There’s a liquid version that also includes the traditional Chinese herbal complex Yin Chiao, that is also amazing.”

“Old school but works”

“I don’t pretend to understand the magic of this. I don’t even care if it’s entirely a placebo effect… it works. The second you feel that prickly throat, flushed feeling take this as directed and you shall be saved. You’re welcome.”

“every time I start to feel a little tickle in my throat I start a regimen of these like it’s my job and I swear it helps”

“These are horse pills (they are enormous) but they sure do work. I also take the liquid remedy daily to stave of colds, etc. I’m a kindergarten teacher so I know what’s what.”

“IYKYK”

“my friend Jeffrey recommended this to me (after it was recommended to him) so I consider it my duty to pay it forward. do I know what's in here? no. does it help when I'm on the verge of being sick? abso-fucking-lutely. it is an essential part of my "I'm about to be sick and panicking" survival kit (see also TBD). find Wellness Formula in that aisle of potions at Whole Foods, or more easily, by ordering online. and ps: whatever you do, buy the capsules, NOT THE TABLETS. they are impossible to consume and horrifying to experience. capsules forever!”