Triple Paste Diaper Rash Cream

“If your tret face is irritated, I’m telling you right now, slather this shit on post-shower like you’re frosting a cake. Do not put tret on first unless you enjoy suffering. My neighbors have seen me topless with a white opaque zinc mask standing fully in front of my dining room window. I’m sure I looked expensive and medicated but lowkey was probably giving Mommy Dearest. And of course, treat the baby’s fat cheeks too!”