Moving in with my LESBIAN partner in 2 weeks 🧑🏻‍❤️‍💋‍🧑🏼 Any tips to make the merge manageable? 🔀

Question

Abby Phoenix · Answer

Share a favorite everyday item with the other person: Okay, I’m just spitballing here but thinking about what would make me feel welcome and excited to merge households with a new partner:

Could you each either pick your own favorite home thing, like a coffee mug or candle or pillow, OR have your partner go through your things to pick her favorite, and then for the first month, it’s exclusively for her use. So like she picks her favorite of your coffee mugs, then it’s hers to exclusively use for the first month. You wash it when it’s dirty so it’s ready when she wants a cup of coffee or tea again, etc. She does the same for you. Like a little warm welcome into how caring and sweet shared life can be?

Image of one of my favorite mugs that I’d only temporarily lend to someone I really adore.

Willa · Answer

Over label  and color-coördinate your moving boxes: Label the top and at least two sides with the box number. Pick a different color of painters tape per category or room for easy sorting in situ. "MISCELLANEOUS" will be the bane of your existence when unpacking rolls around. Instead, really, really overshare with your future self what each box contains and  write it on the outside. There will come a day where you need to find 'that blue mug from Amsterdam' or '10 yards corduroy fabric' and you will feel your soul drain from your skull if you have to open one more box that isn't the right one. I found it helpful to catalog our book and record collections prior too. The Lowes heavy duty small boxes are well worth the extra 25¢ and are perfect for books (we had exactly 101 book boxes). The U-Haul small boxes are perfect for records.

Take numbered photos of each box and index what you can. It helps with inventory and claims should something go wrong, too. Mostly, though, just label the hell out of everything.

Signed,

Someone who is procrastinating on RecLeague rather than unpacking 12,000 pounds of household goods from a cross country move

Elena · Answer

Make a moving box inventory: Every box labeled with a number. Every number in a list with the inventory of what the box holds, where it goes.

Cannot emphasize enough how much of a LIFESAVER this was — helping us to put the right boxes in the right rooms, unpacking and knowing where things are, and so so helpful if you put anything in storage too so you remember what is in there and if you need to get anything out can do so with surgical precision.

Elena · Answer

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir: Ohhh to laugh this hard from the first page feels so good!! I describe this book as The Hunger Games meets The Westing Game but with lesbian necromancers in space. Gideon is one of the most lovable characters I’ve ever met, and Harrow is obsession-worthy. My partner and I dressed as them for Halloween a couple years back (the photo is V as Gideon). Gideon and Harrow’s dynamic, all the way to the last page, rocked me to my core. I truly love every book in this series, but will always have a special place in my heart for Gideon the Ninth.

Also important to note that audiobook is fantastic!! I would absolutely recommend reading (rather than listening to) the second in the series Harrow the Ninth or you may become extremely confused, but listening to Gideon was even more enjoyable than reading it because the voices are so good.