Radical Honesty

I have a history of breaking peoples hearts, including my own. I’m a relationship fluffer; I’ll get people to believe I believe in them and the life we are creating, all the while internally being uncertain that it is really something that I want. I’ve historically done this because of complex trauma around abandonment and telling the truth. I was raised and coached by adults in my life to keep secretes and to believe that my own opinions or the truth did not matter nor was even permissible to be shared…complex trauma around communication. All that to say: radical honesty, although SO difficult and painful at times c has actually been instrumental in my healing and growth. I ended my most recent fluffed relationship after a year…the one previous lasted 10. When I finally mustered the strength for “radical” (maybe even basic) honesty, I have found the benefits of stress reduction, deepened connection to self and the ability to connect with others and decreased reactivity, therein.