Let it be messy

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I read once that parents are the divider between us and the liminal world, reading this shocked me but that’s how much I can’t wrap my head around it. I came to say that when I experienced grief, everything fell apart and I am okay 8 years in. In hindsight, it needed to fall apart to allow me the space to grieve… I needed a lot of it. I hope this brings some comfort - you’re not alone. In hindsight, I don’t think we’re supposed to simply cope or stay the same. I think we are transformed by the physical and spiritual beast of grief. This doesn’t mean we have to come out better, just changed. Some things that helped me through the change: the book The five invitations - my grief bible; walking the streets and touching all the green things with my hands to stay grounded; good grief-specific therapy was transformative; little Greek rituals like marking the 40 days of their passing, the year, the next year and wearing black until I felt open enough to wear colour again; quitting my job; crying for 10 mins in the shower every morning; asking for signs. Sending love and this rose from one of my walks.