“Here’s Why I Decided to Buy InfoWars” by Bryce P. Tetraeder

One of the funniest sentences I come back to any time I need to laugh is written by the fake evil CEO of The Onion’s fake company buying InfoWars:

With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, [InfoWars] strive[s] to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal.