i had to put down my cat very unexpectedly, what's the best way you memorialized a loved animal that had passed?

Question

Maribeth · Answer

Framing your favorite photos of them and with them: First off, I’m so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this. I’m sure your heart is aching.

When my Oskee crossed the rainbow bridge, I panic-purchased photos of him and my husband and me with him to hang all over the house. I didn’t know what else to do with my grief!

I funneled the loss energy (that’s a weird way to put it, but it felt like I was in a crazed state constantly reaching for him and couldn’t get to him) into scrolling through the endless photos on my phone to pick the ones that I felt highlighted different phases of his life, our life together, and the bonds we had with him. It helped me focus on the good things instead of remembering and reliving the last weeks and moments, which I think helped me heal.

One hangs above where his bed and toys were in the living room, across from our couch. We see it all the time, and his smiling face from a really good day memorializes our park rituals. He was my soulmate.

There’s a few more by our bathroom door, one of him with me, one of him with my husband. Matching energies, years apart, and in very different places.

Linking Framebridge, which is good quality and lovely to unbox, but I realize is kinda stupid expensive. Don’t feel bad about just ordering prints from Walgreens or CVS and framing them yourself.

Laura Landers · Answer

Sending your loved one’s ashes (or pet hair) to become fine jewelry: What better way to hold them close to you? Sealed with a diamond, master jeweler Rachel Quinn handcrafts necklaces, charms, and earrings as a vessel for your loved one’s remains. Mail them in, and receive back the unused extras with your new piece of jewelry.

I have my dog’s hairs in a charm I put on a hoop earring. It means the world to me when I wear it.

Rebecca · Answer

Cremains jewelry: I'm so sorry for your loss. I've found a lot of comfort in having jewelry made from their cremains. There are lots of styles and creators on Etsy (and other places, if you prefer) and when I wear them it's like having a physical token of them with me wherever I go.

Laura Messersmith · Answer

A Tiny Notebook of Memories: First, my sincerest condolences on your loss. I've had to say goodbye to some very sweet creatures and it's incredibly painful.

I think one of the hardest parts about losing a loved one - and I absolutely count pets as members of the family - is worrying that you'll forget them as time passes. Pre-emptive guilt x grief is difficult combo.

I found that it was cathartic to get a specific little notebook to write down all sorts of memories: the 68 silly permutations of their name, their favorite playmates, sleeping position, toys, or treats, the little daily rituals just between you two. For my reactive dog we wrote down a list of his neighborhood enemies!

Solo or an ongoing brainstorm with my husband doing this made me feel I had both a tangible record and something to look back on for some of those pieces that might fade with time.

I hope it helps you too.

Jessie · Answer

Tattoo portrait: First of all, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. This happened to me and words can’t express how devastating it is. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and that you have a family and friend network you can lean on right now.

If you’re not afraid of needles and want to make your body your canvas, consider getting a tattoo to keep them with you forever. I got mine done by the incredibly talented Katie Schocrylas. She beautifully captured my girl Frank and I couldn’t recommend her enough.