Unhinged nicknames

My family is out of control with the nicknames. My mom’s for me range from vaguely Russian (Dadle Dushky) to downright offensive (Fatty Patooshky) to plain confusing (Pork and Beans). I love them! They’re always changing—currently I call my sister some version of “Crab Leg” “Crusty Crab” or “Crustopher.” Her name is Bridget. She calls me Quagmire. We’re all fine!!