Subscribing to The Onion print newspaper (it's back!)

First, I should disclose that I am an Onion headline contributor. However, I want to be clear that I do not financially benefit from you subscribing to The Onion print newspaper in any way. In fact, no satire writer has ever financially benefited from satire writing in any away.

If you are, like me, mail-avoidant because all you typically receive is bills and meal subscription promo mailers, The Onion print newspaper provides solid positive reinforcement that conditions you to check your mail more often — like a lab rat being rewarded for pulling a lever.

Having this appear in my mailbox each month is such a treat and the reminder of its mere existence makes me feel more hopeful about the future of fake print media.

Plus, having any newspaper on hand in a household is becoming increasingly rare and much more useful than a dusty stack of New Yorkers — those aren't even good for collaging. Way too text-heavy.