The Fantod Pack by Edward Gorey

A "fantod" is a state of irritability and tension, and the 20 cards in Edward Gorey's "Fantod Pack" are designed to induce one: each card is attached to a variety of disasters ("creeping sickness," "false hopes," "spasms," "hair loss.") The interpretations, housed in a compact booklet, ostensibly come from one "Madame Groeda Weyrd," who is "of mixed Finnish and Egyptian extraction, has devoted her life to divination, and is the author of, among a shelf of other works, Floating Tambourines, a collection of esoteric verse, and The Future Speaks Through Entrails.”

To consult the oracle, throw all of the cards up in the air (much like resigning yourself to fate) then pick five. Distress (and hilarity) is guaranteed. Just hope you do not draw "The Black Doll": "What you most fear / Is coming near." (It's my favorite card in the deck).