5 Minute Magic Green Sauce

Might take a bit more than five minutes, but it does seem magic. It's a sandwich spread, it's a dip, it's a sauce; can go equally well with naan or tortillas. I eyeball the shit out of this recipe - got more parsley than cilantro? That's fine. Lemons instead of limes? NBD. I would include the jalapeño even if you are spice averse; it adds a green/vegetal quality without a lot of heat. The recipe says any nut is fine. This is false. I've tried this with other nuts and pistachios just elevate the...