I think I’m looking for recs on how to adult… like how are we all going to the dentist, getting dog food, dusting, switching out the dish towels, not running out of butter, calling our long distance friends or parents, stretching, cleaning the stove… not to mention actually working, owning businesses, raising pets & kids…

I consider myself a very responsible person (elementary school teacher said I need to “have more fun” so that likely conveys all you need to know) and I don’t know how we are doing it. Do I need a physical calendar? The right Claude prompt? A sticky note and a mission?

Question

I think I’m looking for recs on how to adult… like how are we all going to the dentist, getting dog food, dusting, switching out the dish towels, not running out of butter, calling our long distance friends or parents, stretching, cleaning the stove… not to mention actually working, owning businesses, raising pets & kids…

I consider myself a very responsible person (elementary school teacher said I need to “have more fun” so that likely conveys all you need to know) and I don’t know how we are doing it. Do I need a physical calendar? The right Claude prompt? A sticky note and a mission?

JaperMoon · Answer

Multiple Calendar Pages on the Wall: I cant be getting up to flip through pages, I need to see it all at once.

This particular calendar came from Daiso for $2.99

Coofandy · Answer

Keeping your scheduled appointments: Did you schedule an appointment or meeting with someone? Keep that appointment, and show up for it. Of course things happen, but cancelling last minute or just ghosting is a problem. Here’s how to do this respectfully:

Is it a day or more in advance? It’s probably nbd, but gently apologize and offer to reschedule. “Sorry, something has come up and I need to move our meeting to ___, will that work for you?”

Is it the same day, or within like an hour or two? You are now probably inconveniencing someone, and you owe them both an apology and a brief explanation. You don’t need to confess anything personal or embarrassing of course, but “something came up” is not a respectful reason. If this is a professional-type situation, you need to show you understand that this can damage trust: clients remember this stuff. Do not lie or invent another more urgent client or claim “a meeting is running over”, those are irrelevant anyway. Apologize for wasting their time (yes, you really should say literally that), explain briefly what happened, and offer a couple of specific times to reschedule, and make them soon. Like tomorrow. Or send a bookable calendar link and suggest a specific time.

If you just ghosted them…I mean, it depends. There’s very few places on the friend-client spectrum where that doesn’t have a lasting impact but maybe you wanted things to end anyway?

#adulting

Robin · Answer

Automate everything you can!: Every person is different so what will work for someone else might not work for you.  I have three different paper calendars for different purposes, because that's how my brain works - all my friends think I'm crazy.  You'll have to experiment!

But the one thing that I've seen consistently help almost everybody is automating things.

Set up subscriptions for stuff you order frequently (home supplies like toilet paper or HVAC filters, pet food, skin care, toothbrushes, you name it) so you don't need to think about it and won't run out.

Make your next doctor/dentist/massage appointment before you leave the one you're at.  You'll get a reminder when it's approaching and then you can reschedule if need be instead of trying to remember to schedule it in the first place.

If it makes sense for you, try putting your lights on timers, too!  Schedule events in your calendar or set up recurring reminders to do chores or check in on topics.  I use a combination of the Calendar app and Reminders app (iOS).  Find the things you need or do frequently and make them easier so you can focus on the fun and exciting stuff.

Allison · Answer

How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis: I picked this up thinking I was going to be helping my husband and teen with their Executive Function issues. It ended up helping me see how my own issues around “adulting” were shaped by my family of origin and how that affected caring for myself and our household. I learned so much and recommend it to everyone.

Jules · Answer

Brain Dump + Scheduled Life Admin: This is hard for me to explain bc I have a whole other task mgmt system that is blended with my work task system, but long story short - the mental load of carrying life admin tasks is miserable. here is a simple system:

run your doc anywhere - notes is fine. but I’d actually recommend a google sheet. physical is also fine but i’d recommend adding a way to record it digitally. as things pop (should really look into italian lessons. you need to schedule your cavity! your aunt deserves a thank you note!) ADD IT TO DA LIST.

Spend 20 minutes triaging. Whatever system you want, but urgent and time sensitive (cavity)/non-urgent and time sensitive (thank you note) /non-urgent and non-time sensitive (explore italian lessons in your area) is a good place to start.

Spend another 20-30 minutes a couple of times a week in a place of DO. now you have your plan of attack. Just go on down the line. make the appts. read through the docs.. call and wait on hold. it takes the time it takes. this is done preferably with some trash tv on a tv or a second monitor.

i have ways of adding AI assistance but i dont want people to throw things at me. inquire within!

pic is example of my list - i have a column where i tag things and velvet = velvet rope. means it’s not happening this week, it’s waiting to get in to the party - thus behind the rope.

Endless murmur · Answer

Before the end of your appointment, schedule the next one: Attempting to schedule via text is awful. You like seeing your friends? Before you leave the table, schedule the next occasion. Make it realistic - don’t be ashamed for proposing a long interval between (literal) drinks. Seeing them once every 6 months is better than not at all!

This also works for the dentist, hairdresser, nail tech, etc. You can always reschedule!

Zoe · Answer

if you do it now you don’t have to remember to do it later: remembering is hard work. defeat procrastination through laziness.

Karin Connor · Answer

Knowing which balls are plastic and which are glass: In short- we dont. No one can do all of that without bending time and space. Nora Roberts said it best:

"The key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass. And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic and concentrate on the glass ones and let the plastic ones fall."

Sarah · Answer

Kitchen command center: Basic, but took us 5 years to really get our family system down. We've never had a digital planning system / shared Google Calendar /etc. This works well enough:

wall calendar, all activities listed with the time and initials of whose activity it is.

Hanging paper pad for weekly grocery list - inside aisle stuff on the left, outside aisle stuff on the right. At the bottom of the sheet, list out the days of the week and the dinner plan

After you go to the grocery store, cut off the meal plan, tape it to the bottom of the calendar

we take both docs off the wall and sit down for 15 min on Sunday night and go over the week.