Don’t Shoot the Second Arrow

This Buddhist concept is my most essential emotional first aid tool, we remind each other of it a lot in my family. When I’m struggling with hard things (illness, pain, a life setback, etc) it almost always helps. Basically the first arrow is the actual situation: the migraine, the work drama, the fender bender, the toddler tantrum. You can’t control that. The second arrow is optional though— it’s your self blame and emotional turbulence about the situation. Often the second arrow actually hurts...