Expecting a second baby early next year (we have a 2 year old) and need all the tips! How do you stay sane? How do you prep the big one for the little one? What should we ask people for when they offer to help or gift us things?

Question

Julie F A T · Answer

Have the baby “give” their big sibling a present: Like a peace offering - “I, a baby, am about to change everything for you. Have a squishmallow!” But really, it helps take the edge off when big sibling wonders out loud when the baby will leave.

Noelle O’Reilly · Answer

Time alone with your oldest: I totally agree with @Sarah that you need time alone with the new babe. But it’s also really good to carve out one-on-one time with your oldest. In early postpartum, this can all be in bed! Twenty minutes of reading books alone with your two-year-old or coloring or really whatever. Any intentional time when you hand the baby off to someone in a separate room and are totally focused on the big one. I found giving it a name was helpful too. My oldest started asking “can we do special mama alone time?” and I think it gave her some language for when she wanted attention before it turned into a meltdown.

Sarah Beck · Answer

Time alone with your second baby: My most sincere advice for having a second baby is childcare for your older kid! If they are already in a childcare situation, it's tempting to pull them out because you'll be home anyway. But you need rest and newborns need constant care, and your older kid needs other kids, structure, other loving adults! If your older isn't in childcare, if you can, get a half-day babysitter during the week. And if people are asking how they can help, let them take that older kid out for a date! My biggest and best learning from my second kid is (unironically, earnestly), it takes a village and kids thrive in community. You don't have to take on the world in your nuclear family, we did not evolve to live like this. Congrats and you're going to do GREAT! Having kids is the best!!

Paige · Answer

Maple: My favorite book we read to prep my two year old for the concept of a sibling. Very sweet, a little silly, simple and bonus tree content.

Kaitlin · Answer

Bring the baby “alive” for their big sibling: I learned this tip from Cup of Jo and it worked wonders for us. I made up a silly voice for the baby and “he” is always complimenting his big sister’s dance moves,  asking her questions about how the world works, and making funny jokes. Now that he is getting older and showing more of his own personality, the voice is starting to fade out naturally. But it really helped develop some camaraderie between them when he was just a potato.