looking for recs of gifts or acts of kindness for a friend grieving a parent

Question

Roger · Answer

Anderson Cooper’s All There Is Podcast: People sharing their experience with loss and grief. What a gift from AC.

JDJ · Answer

Keep up the contact: One of the hardest things, I think, is that people will check in with you for a little while, like maybe a couple weeks, and after that other people mentally move on and the grief can get especially isolating. I also appreciate the people who called vs just texted, even if I didn’t answer. Even better if you can remember to check in on firsts—like first month without the person etc, bc the firsts really hurt. For the more immediate aftermath, food delivery app credits are helpful, too ❤️ You’re a good friend for even thinking about this.

Joe · Answer

Sending Food to Grieving People: This is a powerful and effective ritual. Flowers are nice, but in the first (say) three days food is critical. You can do this online at a great distance nowadays, and you should when the need and opportunity arises. Bring them some food.

Sarah Cooney · Answer

The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion): I just commemorated my mother's passing (yesterday, actually) and this book has always been a touchstone for me. I think acknowledging the complicated grief around the loss of someone so pivotal to your life is a difficult thing to do with grace, particularly if/when people don't want to be vulnerable in front of others at the time. This book says, "I see that you're grieving, I'm thinking about you, I'm not asking you to share anything you don't want to"--ultimately because reading is a solitary activity, and it also opens the door for a conversation in the future.