inviting everyone you know over for dinner, twice a month

Last winter, as an experiment and desperate effort to see the people we love on a regular basis, we made dinner for our friends and their kids on the second and last Saturdays of every month. There were all the benefits we imagined: seeing our friends and neighbors with regularity, warding off winter sads during an especially long cold season, making our home into the kind of community landing space we wanted it to be. But of course there were also more subtle and surprising reverberations, too.

These dinners brought together everyone we know in interesting configurations and dynamics, sort of similar to a wedding when everyone is thrown together and fends for themselves. I LOVED watching my best friend’s mom having a conversation with a neighbor that made them both cry. Two friends of mine that were both born in the same country got to wander into their first language. The gaggle of kids dropped every stuffed animal (every! one!) to the bottom of the stairs where the baby gate created what I can only describe as a makeshift foam pit? People served themselves, sat on every available chair and surface in every room, and the house roiled with happy chaos, a balm and foil to the perfectionism trap I can fall into when having people over. Our kids witnessed what it can look like to show up collectively and make and choose family. I loved cooking for a crowd, I loved how lived in our house felt. I loved it all!

Here’s how it worked: we picked a day (Saturday) at a regular cadence (the second and last of the month) and added friends and family who live within reasonable driving distance to an email chain. This meant everyone knew well in advance when dinners were happening and there wasn’t an opportunity to get dates messed up. It felt important for people to know they could drop in, that it was really easygoing, and they could bring something or not. On the Wednesdays before each dinner, I’d email to let people know what I’d be making, so they could make their own call on how to contribute to the main if they wanted to and were able. Neighbors opened up their roads and driveways to us for parking when ours got out of hand. It was a real community effort, people.

Highly rec if you feel like you want to see your people more and often. A little effort in advance = a priceless payoff.