Make people say the hard name
As someone who spent almost half their life using a simpler chosen name, instead of my “ethnic” government name because it seemed too hard, I say fuck it. Maybe people should work a little harder to get it right. I made this choice in college after years of comforting other people’s struggle.
This might be a mostly western phenomenon, but taking the time to learn and pronounce someone’s unfamiliar, maybe foreign name, is a form of kindness and citizenship many people overlook. It pains me to see people contort themselves and even their identity to alleviate those who will not trouble themselves to put in more effort. Stephanie is not an easier name, it’s just familiar.
a month ago
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moving away for college and realizing I could introduce myself with the actual pronunciation of my name (and not a westernized version) was such a game-changer. I'm so proud of little 18 year old me for making that decision!
This POV is correct! We should all pronounce people's names how they want them to be pronounced (just like their pronouns), or at least do our best to get it right. Personally, I enjoy encountering names I'm unfamiliar with and will always happily try until I get it right.
That said, I don't think I'll ever expect English speakers to say my name the way it's actually said in Russian. The l(л) and e are sounds that don't exist in English making them (literally) unheard of here. Though, not being too western-centric in this regard, I'd also be hard-pressed to expect Japanese speakers to comfortably say my name in the English or Russian ways, because there's no "le" or individual consonant "g" in the Japanese syllabary.
Tbh, I choose not to insist that others say my name as it's said in Russian by introducing myself with that way because of the almost inevitable awkwardness it would cause. Americans can already mispronounce my simple two-syllable name without any help at all! 😭
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