Brave question, how do I make my birthday feel special? (If we don’t have a babysitter/ need to stay in)

Question

amy · Answer

Movie Night!: Play a kid-friendly movie that brings YOU joy, get a bunch of movie candy from the dollar store,  pop lots of microwave popcorn put in boxes, and put out blankets to make it cozy.

I borrowed a friend’s projector and did this in my backyard for my 40th and it was a big hit, both with my adult friends AND the kids of those who couldn’t find babysitters. We also splurged on catering from a favorite local restaurant and cake.

Bonus if you serve food themed to the movie!

Hill · Answer

Two words: Food Crawl: Think pub crawl but with the birthday persons favorite food! This works best with items you can consume in relatively small amounts; pizza by the slice, tacos, dumplings, bakeries in general, coffee, ice cream, even bookshops and art galleries work. Make it a party, dress up and play music as you galavant, rate and review the stops at the end. Bonus points if every stop is within walking distance.

Dan Ruiz · Answer

Day-long family date!: This year I did something different. On my birthdays I would usually find a way to spend the day with my wife and handing over the kids with their grandparents. But since this year that wasn’t an option, I planned a day where I invited my kids on something like “my perfect day”, visiting my favorite coffee shops, parks, restaurants, etc. we shopped, we walked, we laughed and I let my kids know this was MY special day and I was inviting them to be a part of it. They loved it and I did too! Hopefully this helps 🙌🏼

Helen · Answer

Make a paper chain with your kiddos: simple and festive.

JV · Answer

Many, Many Birthday Candles: I want you to put more candles than you know what to do with on top of your next birthday cake. Make the candles swirly, or multi colored, or sparkly and gold, just don’t count and use too many and, as with all my recs: have fun and don’t set yourself on fire.

Treemiele · Answer

Create Your Own Festival: I’m a December Sagittarius, so the lore is big and people are busy. In college, my birthday was during finals week, so I took to being flexible about when and how I was celebrating and started packing bday candles with me wherever I went and forcing people to sing to me (playfully). I called it The Festival of Tricia and people seemed to find it charming/funny and I was still getting what I wanted out of the whole thing: laughter, celebration, and a wish.

When I got divorced in 2019, I wasn’t sure how my birthday was going to go. So, when I visited my family out of state for Thanksgiving, I ordered an ice cream cake for myself and popped it in the freezer of the Air bnb where I was staying.

The day after Thanksgiving, I made everyone my special leftover sandwiches and then brought out the cake onto which I had  Merry Trishmas emblazoned and candles I lit myself. It was a Festival Rebrand. I cut the whole cake into exactly as many pieces as people were there (none of this sliver or bite business) and we ate ice cream cake and drank champagne and I didn’t have to worry about my birthday anymore.

This is how I kickoff my birthday every year now. I cook - usually leftover sandwiches and picky bits, I provide my own cake, I decorate my house with Christ(Trish)mas trees (Tree is my family nickname) and lights and invite too many people over. I rent space heaters for outside and put a fire in the fire pit. It’s chaotic and wonderful, and after an hour (so people can stay or leave as their schedule allows in this busy season) I pull out the cake and candles, make someone light them (usually my awesome kid)- and everyone sings Happy Trishmas to me. I feign surprise and embarrassment and we all laugh and laugh. And then, I don’t have to worry about my birthday anymore.

I think my favorite part is that it’s an evening I honor all the people I love with light and food and celebration under the guise of my ego. Am I at the center of it? Or are they? What a beautiful mystery. This year, my friends who attend will receive their holiday gifts from under the tree. I couldn’t imagine anything better.

Make yourself a holiday filled with light and foods and people you love spilling out from every corner. It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Photo of the first Trishmas cake. Link is to the ice cream cake recipe I used (with mods) to make a cake for a family member this summer - I used graeter’s peach ice cream and vanilla and did a blonde Oreo and salted caramel between the layers.

Dylan · Answer

Ask your loved ones to write / record the things they love most about you: Ok yeah I'm a Leo so obviously I've done this multiple times but I mean I don't want my loved ones to only say all the stuff they loved about me at my funeral when I'm not there to soak it all in! Do it while I'm still alive!

It's a glorious little pick me up for when you can't be with everyone you love or when you just need a little boost!

They could send a voice memo, write a bunch of little notes and stick them in a jar, record a video, type out a letter or paint a picture... it's the best gift and it's also totally free ;)

Dylan · Answer

A Custom  Tony’s Chocolonely Bar!?: rec from @JV: I’m a sucker. The minimum order is like 5, this is a no brainer. 30th Birthday party favors? A random “I love you” gift to a best friend? Think of the possibilities!

Dylan · Answer

Lemon curd + rye toast + flaky salt: the most heavenly gift idea / an indulgent treat

Dylan · Answer

Astrology gift guides!: @Steven Weill did an incredibly comprehensive gift guide a little while ago - check it out!

Dylan · Answer

Classic Mamo Cocktail Glass: ummm chic shot glasses in amber glass!!! so stunning!

Dylan · Answer

Twister: There was an era in my life (my early 20s) when we played Twister on a regular occasion, whilst being drunk menaces (naturally).

The mat would inevitably get drinks spilled on it, making the game all the more slippery and silly.

Dylan · Answer

Romance yourself! Romance your friends!: Truly cannot recommend this more highly.

Romance yourself!

Book yourself in for a treat-yourself day - spa, sauna, massage, mani pedi, hair, facial - whatever. You also don't have to spend money to do this! Spend a day alone without too many distractions - journal about what you're grateful for (even something as simple as sunshine or clean water or a roof over your head), connect with nature, listen to a song that makes you feel loved (my rec would be Know That You Are Loved by Cleo Sol), light some incense/your fave candle, swim in the ocean or take a bath, make your favourite meal, kiss/pat a cute animal.

Romance your friends!

Send a love letter to your bestie. Make a playlist for a friend with all your favourite songs. Prepare a delicious dinner for a friend & decorate the table with flowers. Send a text just to tell your friends you love them. Buy a little gift for a friend just because. Write all the things you love about your bestie on little bits of paper, put them in a jar and gift it to them to read when they're feeling down. Deliver a tasty treat from the bakery. Call a mate you haven't spoken to in ages. Plan a FaceTime catch-up with a long-distance bestie. Send them a video of yourself doing a silly dance!

JaperMoon · Answer

DISCO LIGHTBULB: A friend mailed this to me out of the blue and it is everything. Impromptu dance party? Turn on the disco lightbulb! I have a lamp that is easy to change out the bulb, and I do it quite frequently. It is really exciting to turn this on when friends come over - like what, you can just have a disco at home?! Yeah you can!

I also have a mini version that plugs into my phone and syncs up to the beat of whatever music I have playing.

I'm telling you, disco lightbulb.

Kath · Answer

Champagne in pretty flutes: My husband and I celebrated a milestone anniversary when our daughter was three weeks old. We ordered takeout from a mid-tier steakhouse and drank Trader Joe’s bubbly from our nicest stemware. Fancy and decidedly not-fancy all at the same time; it’s the most we could muster. Not quite the same as a birthday, but I still think pretty champagne flutes more than carry their weight where celebration is concerned. And I say a nicer bottle of bubbly is warranted!

Nina · Answer

Cake, candles & a song — minimum: What makes it a birthday, at a minimum? I say it’s cake, at least one candle to blow out, and somebody singing Happy Birthday to you even if it’s via FaceTime!

Frances · Answer

What makes *you* feel special and celebrated?: I think this is something that is really hard to know! And it can make me anxious just to think about it. So take your time, and think about what makes you feel genuinely celebrated. I rarely celebrate my birthday because this is such a hard question! For my 40th, though, I realized that what I really wanted was to host my friends and their families at my house for a chill afternoon hang out kind of party, and then to go out for dinner and let other people do the cleanup. That’s what made me feel good – to get to host, but not have to be responsible for everything at the end of the night.

So think about it. What makes you feel like you want to feel on your birthday?