This Horny Pumpkin

He has bewitched me. I was truly unprepared for the things this pumpkin would say. You can’t let yourself get distracted by the bad captions, you need to really listen to his beautiful song. The way it escalates... Unfortunately, QVC singing pumpkin has a secret pornographic song is my exact sense of humor.

I sent it to all my closest friends being like I NEED YOU to watch this it’s IMPORTANT TO ME.

They found the writer, his name is Peter McEvilley, and it is NOT AI. Which I knew, because robots simply aren't that freaky. Which is one of the reasons I'll never respect them.