Looking for wisdom around a new parent phenomenon: I hate experiencing my daughter’s sweet moments and developmental milestones behind my iPhone camera, but I’m so afraid of forgetting any little detail of her. She’s changing so fast, and I feel almost greedy to capture her as she is today; of course, that effort makes me less fully present. I know this isn’t a new phenomenon or one unique to parenthood, but I’m feeling it especially acutely here. Anyone have helpful input?

Question

Ash · Answer

Five-Year Journal (Wildwood): This day last year, what did I care about? Two years ago today, what funny thing did my toddler say? How to actually make time for a daily journal? The answer is a five-year journal. One page per calendar day (September 4) and each page has entries for five years (2024,2025,2026,2027,2028).I look forward to picking it up each day to see what I was up to, and I’ll actually write in it bc each entry is short - just a few lines. It’s powerful to see patterns YOY and perspective shift - one year later, can’t remember what “lots of work stress” was even about!

Janet Wallace · Answer

Camp Snap CS-PRO Screen Free Digital Camera: My kid is taking this to camp this summer! Received it for Christmas and it's been a hit!

carlotta · Answer

one-line-a-day journal and a point-and-shoot camera: I've really loved keeping a one-line-a-day journal! Since you only have room for a sentence or two, it forces you to think about the most stand-out moment of the day, and that means you get a nice overview of the most important memories throughout the years. I write in mine after my daughter is already asleep, so it doesn't distract me from being present with her.

Also 2 years ago I started using an simple point and shoot camera (I use my husband's old nikon coolpix) and I treat like it a film camera: only take it out when there's REALLY a memory you want to preserve, and limit yourself to only 1-2 shots, then put it away.

Amy · Answer

There’s no perfect solution. There’s a lot of research data that says we remember less when we’re taking pictures because we aren’t taking mental pictures at the same time. If there’s something incredible happening just watch. By the time you get your camera/phone in position it will be over, and you’ll have neither the photo nor the mental picture. For situations where you expect there to be good photo-ops ask a friend or someone less central than you to take pics as they see fit and share them, like at birthdays etc. One friend of mine sets her camera up on a shelf facing the room with the action, like the living room at Christmas, and has the camera auto-snap a pic a minute. Biggest thing really is don’t obsess about it because you’ll miss it all worrying. And, once you’re in situations with other people’s kids there will always be someone more intent than you to get pics, so just ask them to share. Try to enjoy things in the moment. The memory of it is better than the pic, even if it fades or changes over time. The photo can be lost anyway. Good luck.

Alana · Answer

Record the conversations: I read something once from a mom who said she sometimes just hits record on her voice memo app to capture their everyday, mundane conversations. I appreciate this because I always miss my kids' sweet younger voices, which seem to change so quickly (mine are 8 and 5), but it also doesn't require much further phone engagement other than hitting record and setting it down.