Going potato mode

Did you know that humans share about 50% of our DNA with potatoes because we use the same basic genes for cellular function? This is what Reddit told me, anyway, which is obviously the most reliable source of scientific knowledge. With this in mind, I highly recommend transforming yourself into a human potato by getting into the comfiest clothes possible, surrounding yourself with pillows and blankets, and merging your body with your couch. Allow any freeloaders (pets, kids, etc) to nuzzle in...