Hotel Terme Zi Carmela

Debated whether or not to gatekeep this one because part of its charm was the fact that we seemed to be the only non-Italian guests and the only guests under the age of 60.

Despite what my bestie tells me, I'm not an influencer or celebrity, so I am really, really hoping that means my passionate ramblings won't have any impact on this slice of paradise becoming ruined by overtourism (aka drunk obnoxious American & British boomers).

This was such a gorgeous and funny little slice of paradise with so many colourful quirks. It felt almost frozen in time in the most blissful way.

Located on the island of Ischia, this beachside location in the town of Forio was a fever dream. The rooms themselves were giving 90s beach vibes, the hotel decor was charmingly extra, and the views from our apartment balcony were IN-CRE-DI-BLE. misty mountains in the morning and old Italian couples dancing by the pool in the evening. heaven.

my highlight was drinking Campari spritzes by the pool (after the hot/scary bartender told us what to order and we gladly obliged), surrounded by old cig-smoking Italian women in sparkly printed bikinis, tanning their already sun-damaged, leathery skin. icons.

for some reason (perhaps this is a cultural thing?), most of these ladies were always talking to someone on speakerphone, which would normally bother me, but because I can only understand about 3 words of Italian, it was more like relaxing to the comforting background noise of melodic matriarchs (melodic matriarchs - good band name?).

also idk about you but i think i tend to romanticise the otherwise mundane when i'm 3 cocktails deep on an island pretending injustice and pain doesn't exist.

there was also one man with a striking resemblance to Tony Soprano (the only man i will ever love) - who was always wheeling and dealing on his phone. naturally, he had a tiny sassy chihuahua and a cigarette with him at all times.

deeply obsessed.