Make your wife a cake

Because one, your wife probably loves cake cause everyone loves cake. Two, acts of service and kindness are great. Three, you get a slice of cake afterwards too. Also, make the butter cream icing, its not hard, and it makes your cake that much better and impresses others.

If I see you using fondant or store-bought cake frosting, I will take you out in the street and beat you like the dog you are.