indulging whenever possible

What I really want to do right now, day in and day out, night after night, week after week, is consume. I want to gorge myself, truly, with YouTube videos that lead nowhere — of girls with sleek hair and full lips and pointy noses and property that has acreage — and reels of CSI on my slop-filled Instagram feed and British television shows that make me feel cocooned in a way I haven’t felt since high school and essays from sad girls who write better prose than me and navel-gazing books written by women my age. I want to lie beside a crystalline pool at 1 p.m. and absorb every UV ray blasting toward earth while drinking a cold and sweating can of Diet Coke.