knowing yourself and choosing who you want to be

I spent a decade single after breaking up with a very serious boyfriend when I was 25. I dated lightly throughout this time but never with any kind of commitment.

Those years included some of the most difficult experiences of my life, and I am so grateful for learning how to navigate them by myself. I actively and independently chose how I wanted to respond and didn't realize how liberating that was until much later. Being single gave me the space to shed things about myself that I was ready to let go of and grow in new ways with real freedom.

I truly became myself in the years that I was single, and knowing that I can love being alone and have a full and beautiful life without a partner means that I now get to opt in to being in a relationship out of real desire and not fear.

Growing into myself while not centering a romantic relationship is truly the greatest gift I never meant to give myself.