Russian Roulette Your Laundry

Make Laundry Day More Exciting

Rules:

(1) Throw all your dirty laundry in one straight shot from your hamper (aka the floor + that random chair) into the washer.

(2) Don’t check any pockets. That’s against the rules. (This also applies when you transfer everything into the dryer.)

(3) When the full cycle finishes, open the dryer and see what fate awaits you inside.

Probability is on your side: odds are the only thing in there is your nice warm clothes and underwear, along with the majestic smell of a spring meadow.

The spicy fun comes from the sliver of possibility that, via the mindless inertia of habit, you momentarily stowed your AirPods in a garment pocket, subsequently shed said garment, and neatly deposited it in the hamper (that chair). And, per the rules of the game (not any mindless carelessness), that garment was one-shot thrown into the next scheduled load.

Other Ways You Lose (Lesser Probability):

(1) Ink pen in pocket (ranges from close escape to utter tragedy)

(2) Wallet in pocket (survivable; also sometimes this means you unexpectedly find cash you forgot about, which is actually a win)

(3) You accidentally shrink/ruin an item of your GF’s clothing (most often results in death)

Reminder:

Don’t despair if luck doesn’t fall your way. The following remediation technique will usually give your AirPods a second chance at life:

(At least so long as you never need the built-in microphone to function in any remotely usable capacity ever again.)