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Mating

The first time I read this book, I felt like someone had taken all my naive college fantasies and fed them back to me as nightmares. I had questions about every aspect of human existence, except for one: yes, you can get horny reading opaque literature about sociology. The story of a nameless anthropologist doing graduate work in Botswana who ends up in a polyamorous matriarchal village before that was a thing, Mating's title says it all. In recent years, Mating has achieved something of a cult status (back in my day, this was one of those books you felt cool for knowing about and oddly protective of- so it’s the book equivalent of an indie band from your neighborhood whose music is suddenly in Hyundai Elantra ads.) If Norman's work interests you, check out this lovely article about his long term collaboration with his wife- the rare male genius who DOES give his better half her flowers. Yes King.

What Purpose Did I Serve in Your Life

Long before Scaachi Koul went hunting for Marie Calloway, (and, in the process, brilliantly re-examined the alt lit craze of the aughts) I was reading this book and thinking "some girls really know how to live." Looking back, Marie Calloway wasn't having better sex than the rest of us- but she wasn't afraid to express desire, something I found far too vulnerable (I always chose to write about bags fumbled and kisses aborted, rather than to speak to desire- and so it was a dare I gave myself just a few years ago, to film some Good Sex.) Calloway has since disappeared from the scene- but maybe she knew the truth about the internet and its fickle ways: it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Women

Hey friend. Are you gay? No? Well, that's about to change.

Sula (novel) - Wikipedia

Even Nobel Prize winners love a loose woman. Sula Peace, the namesake/uneasy heroine of this novel, is the obsession of her small town as she makes her way through its stock of married men, having the kind of orgasms that make you think "wow, I am NOT doing this right." Toni Morrison is never working on less than the levels, so this is a glimpse not only into the hopes and heartbreaks of a Black community across decades in a changing America, but also into the way that flouting the sexual manners of the moment lead to more conflict with the women watching than with the men participating. I read this book for the first time in 7th grade, and it’s stayed in rotation since. Sula is impossible to forget- for her more steadfast and constricted best friend Nel, for the men she loves and leaves, and ultimately for the reader.

Mating

The first time I read this book, I felt like someone had taken all my naive college fantasies and fed them back to me as nightmares. I had questions about every aspect of human existence, except for one: yes, you can get horny reading opaque literature about sociology. The story of a nameless anthropologist doing graduate work in Botswana who ends up in a polyamorous matriarchal village before that was a thing, Mating's title says it all. In recent years, Mating has achieved something of a cult status (back in my day, this was one of those books you felt cool for knowing about and oddly protective of- so it’s the book equivalent of an indie band from your neighborhood whose music is suddenly in Hyundai Elantra ads.) If Norman's work interests you, check out this lovely article about his long term collaboration with his wife- the rare male genius who DOES give his better half her flowers. Yes King.

What Purpose Did I Serve in Your Life

Long before Scaachi Koul went hunting for Marie Calloway, (and, in the process, brilliantly re-examined the alt lit craze of the aughts) I was reading this book and thinking "some girls really know how to live." Looking back, Marie Calloway wasn't having better sex than the rest of us- but she wasn't afraid to express desire, something I found far too vulnerable (I always chose to write about bags fumbled and kisses aborted, rather than to speak to desire- and so it was a dare I gave myself just a few years ago, to film some Good Sex.) Calloway has since disappeared from the scene- but maybe she knew the truth about the internet and its fickle ways: it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Women

Hey friend. Are you gay? No? Well, that's about to change.

Sula (novel) - Wikipedia

Even Nobel Prize winners love a loose woman. Sula Peace, the namesake/uneasy heroine of this novel, is the obsession of her small town as she makes her way through its stock of married men, having the kind of orgasms that make you think "wow, I am NOT doing this right." Toni Morrison is never working on less than the levels, so this is a glimpse not only into the hopes and heartbreaks of a Black community across decades in a changing America, but also into the way that flouting the sexual manners of the moment lead to more conflict with the women watching than with the men participating. I read this book for the first time in 7th grade, and it’s stayed in rotation since. Sula is impossible to forget- for her more steadfast and constricted best friend Nel, for the men she loves and leaves, and ultimately for the reader.